Phoebe Jiang

Phoebe Jiang has gladly agreed to be my American postmate on the side of this mountain in Shaojie. A graduate of Colorado College in 2009, Phoebe has spent a year in the workforce before joining me in le China. With an impeccable taste in clothes, Phoebe has style (girl used to work at J.Crew. Amazing). When Phoebe walks past Chinese people, they stare. Apparently she closely resembles a Chinese movie star; I tell her it's because she smells. Phoebe has already been warned of my love of nude underwear and bed snuggling. I think she may have already gotten used to my dirty jokes. I love Phoebe more and more every day and I look forward to living with her these next two years!

If Phoebe and I had a child, he would look like this.

Bandwidth Bane

Given my current lack of bandwidth, I haven't been able to log into Dashboard to edit my blog manually for a long time. I am about to start a short series of introductions of the fellows that I love. There will be more, this is just the first taste. 

First up! FEEBS.

SEMPER UBI SUB UBI

Didn't your mother always tell you to wear clean underwear? What about if you're living in rural China and you're about to be late to a meeting and you don't like washing your clothes and ruining perfectly good articles of clothing with the Chinese bootleg washer, so instead of wearing underwear, you put on a black dress and comfort yourself in knowing that meeting you're going to will last at most 45 mins?

Too many what ifs? What if I didn't wear underwear at my meeting and didn't think I would have to pay the price for it, but then we sat in the front row where I spent 45 mins clenching my legs tightly before Phoebe accepted an invitation to dinner.

At first I was horrified and I bluntly told Phoebe, I really don't know what to go - which was a little too blunt, and in a way probably pissed her off... so I had to tell her the naked truth. That I wasn't wearing underwear and I didn't feel like going to a restaurant where we would be eating veggies from a pail and sitting on low stools. Maybe that's just me? AHHH, Phoebe couldn't believe it and I was sad to admit it. 

Laugh if you want. It's horrifying.

So we ... 8 new girl teachers, pile into this little car, only to find that the battery has died.. so Phoebe, Sophie, and I are all sitting in the car, musing as to how the teachers are going to transfer us to the restaurant, which is a highway pitstop right outside of our town. By moto, we wondered? They would have to provide us with helmets, as that's the CEI rule, and I would have to sit.. side saddle? WTF. You'd better believe that I was horrified.

The principal piles us into a smaller car where Phoebe now has to sit in my lap and we ride bumpily out of down. Phoebe is hitting her head on the roof of the car with every bump that we take and I'm wrapped around her like white on rice trying to act as her human safety belt. THEN the car stops. It's stuck on one of the rock piles and we've got to get out and walk ourselves out. Was this trail on the side of mountain? Yes. Was it very dark outside? Yes. Was the weather quite pleasant though? Also, yes. So we made the best out of Phoebe's phone backlight and began our plight up the rocky road. 

The car wrested itself free and we all got in like the circus clown car and proceeded to stuff our faces with uber basic veg stew and white rice. 

On the car ride back, I professed to Phoebe that I was sweet on her and mightn't we go on an intimate car ride of 10?

The moral of THIS story is that... country living is unpredictable and you should hedge your bets by semper ubi sub ubi.

Fodor's: WIN

Dear Christine,

Congratulations! Your photo was featured in Fodor's Buenos Aires, 2nd Edition along with photos from other travelers like you as a part of the guide's "Community Photo" feature.

Many titles in the Fodor's Gold Guide series include "Community Photo" features with pictures submitted through one of our popular "Show Us Your..." photo contests on Fodors.com. We believe that these photos and the memories they represent are part of what makes the Fodor's experience unique: enhancing the expertise of professional travel writers with personal insights from travelers like you.

Your photo appears on page 34.

In case you were too lazy to read that, I entered a photo contest with Fodor's on a whim and it won! All I get are bragging rights and a free book. LOOK AT ME BRAG. YAY!

Cute Chinese Crime

Note to Self (and any American that comes to China): When you are taking pictures of cute toddlers/babies on the side of the street, review the picture after you take it. Chinese babies have a tendency to wear split pants that show, when they are stooping down, their baby privates.

 

For example, in the case of this cute little nugget, maybe I took a picture of his baby junk, maybe I didn't. For legal reasons, I can't show you. 

Arachnophobia

There are pouches of spider nests in my room. I don't know if that makes sense and I don't know how spiders are born but I'm assuming they form from these HUGE POUCHES ALONG MY WALL. Eeks!

AH! Phoebe and I were hanging out in my room and all of a sudden a huge spider crawls from nowhere into the wall, a place which I originally thought was just a knot in the paint.. BUT NO, it's a living, breathing home for spiders to throb in. It was moving in there like a heart beating in someone's chest - another assumption, I don't think I've seen someone's heart beat in their chest.

I know that spiders are good for you because they kill zee bugs and obvi I have a ton of bugs in my room but, RAWR! I don't like either. At least they're pretty easy to get rid of... I'm trying to figure out what to do with the pesky cat who is always staring at me from outside my room when I exit and CRYING at night. Look kitty, I'm a tiger but I'm not your momma. 

What's for breakfast?

What about a large dose of internet with a huge bottle of water and some crackers? YEAH.

I can't. stop. reading. Jersey Shore recaps. 

Nothing reminds me more of trashy American TV like Jersey Shore. I can't wait for real TV to start as well, though I'm having a hard time figuring out how to watch it all. Tudou.com? Maybe when I get more regular bandwidth. I can't bear to steal too much bandwidth from my fellow postmates.

Oh look, another pic of me and Phobe, who doesn't like? We're probably wearing the same clothes in other photos that you've seen because we wear the SAME THINGS over and over in China and no one cares and no one remembers but us. Both of us were actually thinking about keeping track of the things that we wear, just so we can shame ourselves into wearing a variety of clothes. Recently, I wore my Anthro butterfly dress for 72 hours in a row. I love that dress. Good to sleep and good to party. 

But seriously... I need to go find food and unpack. 

Countdown to September

School starts on September 1 and I don't yet have the teaching materials. I also haven't completely unpacked because of a combination of many things: 1) I'm lazy, 2) There isn't any room, 3) There hasn't been power here on my mountain, and strangely enough I haven't been able to contain my panic when there's no power. I assume soon I'll get used to this, but for now... when there's no power, I usually want to do everything in my power, to find it. 

How to I make my room into a home and less of a storage space? Remember when I used to have issues cleaning my room? Well, it looks like things haven't changed. BTW, fun tidbit: last night, I used my bra as a pillow. It definitely didn't work as well as I had hoped and today I thankfully am back in my own bed and my own foam pillow. NO REGRETS ON MY OVER PACKING!!!

Teaching Schedule

I've just been told that I'll be teaching one class of 7th graders consisting of 60+ kids and one class of 5th graders, who knows how many? The people of my town have yet to see a white person. They are SO excited at the possibility of seeing white people! The eyes of the little girl who I spent the morning with literally widened in anticipation of the possibility of seeing my friends who are real. white. people.

Soon, little girl, soon. 

Get ready for this!

Just put it in a bag

What is up with the Chinese habit of putting everything in a bag? I remember once when I was a child, my mom put fried rice in a ziploc for me and I was horrified. Well, this is like that, but much worse. 

Oh, you're done with dinner but you can't seem to finish that soup? Where is the cylinder container that you're used to carrying your soup in? NOT here. 

Dump it in a bag. Afraid it will leak? Double bag.  You must be wondering...what sort of bag? Surely they must use a special soup bag. NOPE, just a regular grocery plastic bag. OH ZHONG GUO.

Hello, Shaojie

How did I go from baking cupcakes in DC to living in rural China?

 

I now live in Shaojie, Maolan, Yunnan, China. Population: 8,000. Elevation: 5,905.51 ft or 1800 m. It is a for real mountain village. The 'ville, for short if you please. One mountain road in, one mountain road out, nothing to do but play Picasa (classify faces on Picasa) and marvel at the fact that I live in the mountains.  

 

Shit just got real. 

 

I just spent a full hour washing less than 16 pairs of underwear. I think once I get proper internet I'm going to have to figure out the right way to do this in the least time possible. How the hell do you use a washboard? I just bought one and it has helped me to feel a little more confident that my underwear is clean, but the fact that I can't be sure is sad to me.

 

I can't decide right now if the fact that I'm worrying about clean underwear is refreshing or… something else entirely. What did I used to worry about? How many claims I was going to complete in one day? Sitting in a cube? Playing with old files and trying to understand what constitutes PTSD? Traffic?

 

Now I worry about whether or not there will be hot showers in winter, how will I get all the nutrients I need to survive and I rejoice in the idea that maybe the 20 lbs I gained while eating ribs at the VA will come off my ribs, that much faster.

POSTED... 4 to 5 days later

Thanks to rural China and its random power outages, I've been running in and out of hotels, sometimes the same hotel for the past week. 

One night, I checked into a hotel, thinking I would stay one night, and ended up extending it to two nights, checking out, then rechecking in to the same room for a third night. Bliss.

It's ok. The rooms were ca. $10 USD per night and there were Western toilets. My standards for luxury are obscenely low, I'm happy with air conditioning and with a toilet. I'd be in pig heaven with just a toilet actually... because this is where I'm living.

It's super quaint, if you're going away for a romantic weekend... mountains surround me, mist rises in the morning and I feel like I'm in the midst of a scenic paradise.

 

Then my foot hits the ground and I realize that I live in a structure that was built in 1970s in China, which may as well have been in the 1870s. Boo. Whatever. If it's been around for 40 years, it will stand for another 2?

I have way too many things for my baby room, but who is surprised there? Instead of unpacking now, I'm planning on camping out in front of this laptop until someone makes me go to bed. (NO one makes me go to bed)

I'm not quite sure what pics I've just posted but I'm assuming it's my room, mi casa, and another pic of mi casa. I live on the room most on the left. The ceilings are probably no more than 6 feet tall and that makes me unhappy. I also just saw a spider nest. That makes me unhappy as well. I just yelled in frustration. I WILL KILL THEM TOMORROW :(

Posted!

Dear Blog,

Too bad my poor internet connection won't let me post pics. See you soon! Love, Christine

Can I get an amen for hygiene?

Tonight at dinner, Tom asked me if there was I felt a cat brush my foot under the table. I shrugged him off and told him it was probably my skirt. Then, a cat scurried from under the table into the outer room. 

This picture is that cat. Eating freshly cooked fish under the table that I am eating from. The same fish. Rawr, indeed. 

Sanitation? Hygiene? FACK. Oh well, it's China. 

Chinese people let us ride their cars and smoke their pipes

In the name of winning the scavenger hunt... Phoebe and I were willing to do anything to win, including coax strangers back into their tragons and hand over ciggies to smoke from their metal bongs. 

Who doesn't want a sexy treat?

Look what was waiting for me at the hotel! RAWR! All I ever wanted. Senior man trousers? Oh, how I have missed you. 

...and there were free toothbrushes!

Before the posting

So apparently, instead of going to Shaojie directly, my administrators decided to give us a mini-vacation. I'm bunked up in a hotel right now with some of my friends and writhing in anticipation of going down. The place that I'm going to go to is apparently quite poor but the people are very kind and generous. Our administrators have told us that they're going to pay for our kitchen supplies so that we'll be able to cook for ourselves. I'm excited and terrified all at once. 

I can only hope that where I'm living looks even a little bit like Lincang No 1 Middle School: in the middle of nowhere but... gorgeous. 

LEAVING FOR POST TODAY

I'm leaving from the training to my post around 5 pm today. It's 2 hours away from Lincang. We're apparently living in a wooden teacher's dorm and there is only running water on the ground floor. IN-TER-ESTING. Cannot wait to tell you more. 

READ THIS BLOG

Because I don't write as much as I want to - you should probably take a look at Tom's blog.

http://blogs.princeton.edu/pia/personal/thoffecker/

He may have sounds on his blog but I adamantly believe that I have better pictures. 

Beautiful Tuscanesque Views?

I can't decide which one I like better but both were taken off the roof the place where I ate fried rice yesterday. I don't know if you'll be able to see this, but you should definitely click to enlarge. 

Paradise Found!

Pizza exists in Lincang! Cheese! Bread! Meat! Mushrooms! Peppers! All in one place. My mouth. Rawwwwwwr. 

... and how we found the place was so random! A few of the staff were at the airport picking up the new intern when they ran into a blonde lady from Oklahoma with big blue eyes, named Jermaine. I've only been told this story about 3x so I'm just going to go off of what I have heard. Jermaine has been living in Lincang, Yunnan, China for about three years now and she loves this pizza place. She also seems to have a farm and some sort of cheese farm with mozzerella, feta, and ricotta. Jermaine/Germaine may also be Mormon. I suddenly want to know more about Christ that is within me (at least my name).

 I know that this weekend is going to be better already, because the first thing that I want to put in my mouth after a few beers is a hot slice.

C'mon, you have to admit. This might even look good in America. NEXT, the quest for hot wings and ranch. 

CS-ta

Everyday in training, from 3 to 4pm, we take a CS-ta aka... we revert back to 8th grade boys with very few friends and play Counterstrike. There are even mic'ed up headphones that allow us to talk with our teams. By we, I mean like... 8 of us that all play in the same lab. One of the 8 of us is, in fact, a 12 year old boy named David, who constantly has to listen to us curse foully and make up creative relevant names that pertain to our work. 

This is the fourth day that I have played CS and I have to say, thanks to CS I now feel confident in my ability to shoot someone/zombies with a gun if necessary.

Meet Tom. He kills me ALL ZEE TIME.

Everything I do....

I've done it for them.

Meet the kids attending my camp! From L to Right, Tom, Sandy, Lucy, Emma, Heather, Bryan, Lucas, Sam, Jack, Happy, Patrick, Nina, and New Nina (New Nina entered the class after I had already named another girl Nina...both are VERY CUTE)

The naughtiest with the best!

Tom is walking away from New Nina who is trying to get him to listen to me.

SEEN IN CHINA

A dream is a wish your heart makes

What does it mean when I dream of BBM and heels?

I really wanted to type up a blog post last night when I finally got to my computer last night.... but I got a little too melancholy, then too sleepy that I couldn't type. :( I miss my friends!

Most of my nights are spent doing work and making lesson plans for K-3 kids who just like drawing pictures and laughing at the teacher. On Friday, we completed a scavenger hunt where we did amazing things with strange Chinese men. You know my motto, anything to win, anything. I sweat blood and tears, scraped my legs on gravel and pebbles and BOOM. My team won. 

 Pictured: All winners.

I miss coffee. SO MUCH.

I miss other things too.

Being able to digest food solidly.

Not coughing up shit

Elevators.

Electricity in my room.

My friends. 
All of my shoes. 

You, especially if you're reading my blog.

Today I read If you take a mouse to the movies...   to my kids - they're ridiculously cute and supremely gifted. There's nothing I love more than seeing interest in children's eyes... and nothing annoys me more than children who cut up and don't pay attention. I named all the kids in my class after boys in our program. Alex, Lucas, Tom, Patrick, Peter... Hello America! I named all the girls beautiful names that I love - Lily, Eva, Kathleen, Emma, Sarah, Nina, Sophie, Charlotte... these kids are just summer camp kids, I only have them for another week. Don't feel bad if you're name wasn't named to someone else... these are only my temp class! You know who you are - get ready to meet your Chinese counterpart.

Things about China that are awesome... I can eat tomatoes and eggs EVERYDAY if I want to...

My breakfast costs only .33. The people that I surround myself can all carry tunes and know amazing amounts of words to songs that I love with the exception of Rocky Top. 

I don't know if you can access this but... this is the song that I'm obsessed with right now.

 http://huilingcashmere.com/swf/02.mp3

Happy trails!

Pics of me looking hot

HA! If you thought that you were going to see me looking sad or suffering on my wooden slats.... dream on.

 

Please pay special attention to the picture of me and Phoebe - Feebs and I are stationed out in the country together. Us and one other Chinese fellow will be living in a county where there are hot springs and supposedly a brewery...... :) BOOM. I can't wait!

 

The other photo is simply of Tom, Lucas, Sam, and I balling out of control at this Burmese resto in Lincang, Yunnan, China!

Decisions, decisions.

Let's take a quiz. Good idea or bad idea.

 

Good idea or bad idea:

 

When your friend is a 6 ft tall sweaty boy playing basketball and he wants to switch shirts with you, you say sure. Good idea or bad idea?

 

What about if I told you that we were in an intercultural basketball tournament to the death where the other team was cherrypicking and sandbagging out the ass?

 

This is probably a bad idea, but I did it anyway! Something in my 24 years of living that I have never done before, switched my dry white tee for a dark grey (originally light grey) wet one.

 

Hmm. Pictures to come later.

Rural Living

DOES include access to karaoke. Fear not my friends, if you thought that I would be in Asia without a KTV in sight, you will be relieved to know that I can and have sung many a BSB song last night. .. and Spice Girls. I'm in good hands.

 

I haven't really updated this blog because I've been just continously ill. Working too hard, you know?

 

Let's see... here's the lowdown on my living conditions:

 

I sleep on a wooden slat, which over time, makes everything on it, including me smell like the wooden slat.

 

I shower in stall that not only has a shower head, but also has a hole, where I could - if I wanted to, pee in. YAY.

 

Where I live has no mirrors, but I was smart enough to already have brought one.

 

There are no electrical outlets in the rooms. It is incredibly strange and it allows many people to be social.

 

I'm a hot mess and I'm sure that my roommates hate me. We live 3 to a room and there are 8 beds. Guess how many I might have adopted as holder of my things? If you guessed HALF OF THEM, you would have been correct. Sad, but true. I don't regret it!

 

Crocs are my life saver.

 

Do you ever enjoy coming home and kicking off your shoes, then running to the toilet, maybe unwind a little bit with some reading material on the john? NONE OF THOSE THINGS CAN HAPPEN ANYMORE. Instead..... I run home all the time, switch into flip flops and hover over a porcelain - (swank!) hole.