CONGRATULATIONS, LINDSEY PARKER

MY BEST FRIEND JUST GOT ENGAGED!!!!!!!!! BTW, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Just in time for New Years!

I want this bangle. Kate Spade, why are you so affordable and cute?

Hello, you will be mine in a month!

Merry Dali-cious Christmas!

Falafel!

I don't know how many plays on words I can keep using for Dali, and I'm not sure if I haven't used this one previously before... Thank you Dali Hump hostel for hosting amazing holiday feasts. This one was 35 kuai a person and totally worth it.

I arrived in Dali on Christmas Eve after teaching earlier that morning. My kids have been particularly heathen-like because of the fact that all day every day all we do is review, and they don't want to be there, and neither do I when they're acting like monsters. I had a come to Jesus talk with them on the 23rd which mostly involved flipping out, throwing about 100 sheets of paper in the air and the atmosphere in my classroom has been strict and organized since. Taking control of 52 seventh graders when they don't want to be is difficult. Taking control of 52 seventh graders that sleep in freezing temperatures, that are sick, that are tired, and have to go to school from 7:20 am to 9 pm at night is nearly impossible! Christmas couldn't come soon enough.

Phoebe and I packed our things and made the 30 minute trek out of our village unto the side of the road. We watched as bus after bus full of people passed as by and we couldn't get on. Standing outside in the freezing cold, we battled with our urge to give up but hope persevered and after only an extra 50 mins, we were able to sit on a slighter warmer bus for 4 hours before arriving in Dali. In my mind, I hoped that there would be food like this:

My prayers were answered!

It's amazing how time changes when you live in rural China. Before coming here, I truly wouldn't be caught in a vehicle for 4 hours at a time. Four hours? Might as well be FOREVER. Now, I look forward to any means of transportation faster than my own two feet, or in some cases an exposed car engine carrying basketballs (Only Phoebe would understand).

After one night of revelry and losing my phone (again!), I don't know what the deal with China is. I think I need to get a real purse........ Christmas arrived! In the morning, I awoke to find that the stone of my ring was missing, that I was a lot hungover, but that's all okay because Santa Claus is cominggggggg to town. Merry Christmas! A few of us went for a Christmas bike ride and celebrated amazing weather before sitting down for the Christmas feast.

Laura, Ken, and Pete after our Christmas meal!

So pleased. Can't you tell?

After feasting to our hearts' content, the gingerbread contest was judged and the leftovers were devoured by our friends. This is John Kuo, going to down by first, stabbing the door of the gingerbread house and grabbing it and stuffing it into his mouth. NOMs.

Killer!

Lucas and I were both a part of the clean plate club! This occurred for me only after a creepy long haired German man took away all the bones from my plate. He looked like he should be grooming pet tigers, but he confessed he has puppies to feed.

Following our meal, we finished up with White Elephant, which you've already seen pictures of....... John Kuo couldn't WAIT until White Elephant, and truthfully, I couldn't either! In the end, I didn't want the stealing/Christmas spirit to end!

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and... coming up, a Happy New Year!

R. I. P. Blazer F. Sullivan

Just in time for Christmas, I introduced everyone to a little game called White Elephant to bring forth the Christmas spirit. Nothing says Christmas like stealing presents directly from your friend's hands! There were a few hits, and a few.... surprises. We set a 15 kuai limit, so no presents could be worth more than $2.25. It’s great to see what you can get for that price in China.
Essentially, all of these things:

Oh, la! What could they be, you wonder? Here are some of the more popular conquests that were stolen multiple times. Each photo represents a temporary ownership before the last photo reveals the final recipient of le present.

A hamburger tupperware, courtesy of moi!

An owl purse:

and… finally a crossbow.

The most creative present has to go to Lucas Myerson, for his acquisition of a trout and a bucket for 15 kuai. We named him Blazer F. Sullivan, otherwise known as BFS, or Baxter Sullivan. In a moment of dumb, I watched Lucas tie off the bag and I wondered out loud how Blazer was going to breath. “Christine, he’s a fish.” Pause. Pause. OH MY GOD.

This is him, in a bag, placed in a pail. S. Waldo was pleased to have him… to eat later.  When I returned for the night later that evening, I cried out in dismay when I found that the coals that I was warming my body with were that of Sullivan’s leftover exoskeleton. Sweet Sullivan, how you made several people happy in so many different ways. Merry Christmas, Sullivan. Your life served a truly Dali-cious purpose!

Merry Christmas with Love from China

Blogging has been extremely difficult lately due in large part to a little thing called bronchitis, followed now by something even more fun, stomach virus. How did things get so crazy? My flight out of Lincang to Kunming is on January 13th and I am officially counting down the days until I leave this barn full of my worldly possessions. I hope everyone had a wunderbar Christmas and has fabulous New Year's plans!

SNOWING in China? Nice try. It's gross foam.

I need to make a list of my resolutions for the New Year, as well as find a way to get change just in time for a new holiday tradition - New Year's Day Poker! 1/1/11 Here we come!

More about my Christmas.... now.

Homesick for the Holidays!

Oooo the weather outside is frightfuuuuul............AND it's 3 days until Christmas? Boo. I miss you guys!

Year in Review!

Brought to you by Google.com!

Enjoy!

Anthropologie Scare

Anthropologie.com is currently selling a necklace called the Childhood Secrets Necklace.

It looks like this.

I think there's been a mistake. Shouldn't this necklace be called the Childhood Nightmares Necklace?

Soy Vey!

Like most every weekend, I went to the closest town, Yunxian to relax and celebrate no working with a few friends. Unlike every other weekend, this weekend was the first of December, which constitutes its own celebration, a celebration of mustaches. As November was a holiday of no shaving for many of the male fellows, I was eager to see the mustaches created just in time for our mustache bash. A small gathering of facial follicles, the mustache bash weekend began with a story.

Later that night...real men with real mustaches

Peter had come in and he hadn’t had any food all day. Tom, Gareth and I, along with Peter decided that we would go to the Dongbei restaurant for a late lunch. This place knows us well and I suspect has enjoyed a history of ripping us off. The average price per person at every other restaurant is 10  元 while at here, it’s twice the price. I can’t deny that sometimes I just have to go to this place because they have the best meat dishes, meat, being something I hardly eat during the week. We sat down and quickly ordered as one of the waitresses prepared hot tea for us at the next table.

I watched as she poured boiling hot water into the glass tea cups. She brought two glasses over, giving tea to Peter and me first. I sat on the right, closest to the edge. As she leaned over the table to set tea in front of Gareth and Tom, I realized several things at once. One, she was incredibly short, I saw her get on her tips as she was leaning forward. Then, I heard a smash and saw that my tea glass had spilled unto the ground. I looked down at my lap and grabbed my dress. Soaked. Tom looks over and asks if I’m okay.

I didn’t feel a thing. And then all at once, BURNING. Burning spreading from thigh, onto my right knee and down my leg. I was in shock. Quickly, the littlest waitress ran to get the proprietress of the restaurant who asked me if I was okay. I didn’t know what I was feeling other than burning so when she offered me her hand, I grabbed it.

She took me past where her husband was cooking and into the back of the restaurant, where I saw her point to an urn on the ground, which I assumed was full of clean water. She proceeded to try to lift my dress and see where I had been burned, but I was wearing black tights. She kept saying.. “It’s okay for strangers to see.. Let this stranger see.” And I just kept saying NO no no, before I could finally take in a breath and tell her to hold on ONE second. She pushed me one foot over into this corner of the room, not a big space, probably between 2 feet by 4 feet? I stood and pulled off my tights and bunched my skirt up so that we could both look at the damage. At this point, the littlest waitress handed her the urn that she had previously pointed to. Oh good, I thought, cold water.

‘Splash!’ The cooling splash of liquid was soothing to the touch, but two things were very wrong with this image. Number 1 being of course having a stranger splash liquid unto your thighs and inner thighs, where no burns had occurred and the second being that liquid was SOY SAUCE. I pulled my cream colored dress high as to not incur any soy sauce stains as I let the proprietress of the restaurant smack soy sauce up and down the length of the front of my leg. Wow. She put the urn down and went to the front to have her son by ointment for me to put on. I stood momentarily on one leg, the other covered in soy sauce with my dress bunched around my waist. Good judgment wearing underwear. Semper ubi sub ubi never fails!

The littlest waitress came forward and gave me a hug and tissues. I realized then that, I must look like the scariest of messes since I had splurged and put on eye makeup and that the burn had shocked some tears out of my eyes, causing all eyeliner to run. She, then proceeded to help me wipe my other shoe, which had sustained a lot of soy sauce damage. (Good thing the shoes were a China purchase of 13 元!) I stood for another two minutes before I heard Tom ask from where we were sitting if I was okay. I answered positively hoping beyond all hopes that none of the boys that I had come in with would come back here and see me in my soy glory.

I stood in the corner, dizzingly waiting for the proprietress to return. The lack of lunch was making my headache! Finally, when the proprietress returned, I told her that I was fine and that I’d like to join my friends again. She ordered the littlest waitress to help me wash my leg, who then rinsed a dirty tub out and filled it with warm water. I bent to splash the soy sauce on my leg but she pushed my hand away. With both hands, she scrubbed my leg clean and apologized to me again. Again, two things ran through my mind, this feels weird and man, I could probably get used to being washed. This was the first time that I had worn tights in China, and I’m so thankful that I did. The tights saved me from second degree burns, as well as the embarrassment of having to sit in wet pants or worse, no pants while eating a late lunch with three guys!

At the end of the meal, we still paid about 20 元a person, as it’s not a developed enough area for restaurant owners to give away meals just because one of their careless littlest waitstaff scalds the length of your right leg with hot tea. 

Spit Splotch

Where I live, I swear, I am never 20 mins away from hearing someone hocking a loogie and spitting. The loogs and the splat of the nasty spit is driving me crazy.

Ho ho holiday drinking!

A quick perusal of the NYTimes showed me that the holiday season is definitely here! With the holidays comes the crisp snap in the air, the hike in your gas bill, and my favorite, holiday parties! With holiday parties comes holiday beverages!

The Times features several gorgeously made drinks that sound delicious and fantastic. View them here in order to see how to make them. I'm drooling! For a non-alcoholic option, I recommend glancing at the Mandarin Punch. The Apple Smash and the Happy Holidaze look smashing as well!

That's my catchphrase, Groupon.

Groupon's been in the news lately due to their imminent acquisition by Google. Well, they're on my radar too. I started saying RAWR first!

This USED to be my life.

Now that I live in the third world, I worry about basic things like... it's dark outside, it's too windy, how will I go to the bathroom? or... It's nice outside, I'm in the bathroom, but will this bee sting me while I'm defenseless?

But if you're still happily residing in the first world, enjoy commiserating with fellow first worlders at First World Problems.

Touching moments

Tell me, which picture do you think is more touching?

or

Same pose, different people, all using Windows Live writer. I know watermarks are annoying but they’re kind of cute here, aren’t they?

Dali Feastgiving

MEAT FEAST at the Bad Monkey

I'd been looking forward to Thanksgiving break for so long! Thanksgiving break is the first break we'd had since the beginning of October.... and we had to make it ourselves - I had to beg, lie, cheat, steal, and coerce in order to take two days of classes off.  Since October, all we've had are the weekends, a few conferences that took up those weekends and COLD weather. Dali is always a welcome escape, especially since there's a Wal-mart Supercenter in town, as well as a legit movie theater where a ton of us got together and watched Harry Potter 6.5. The first day we arrived, we went to our favorite bar, where our favorite bartender, the kiwi Jess, was tending zee bar. The Bad Monkey. It was Thanksgiving Day and the Bad Monkey was still hosting a roast. Roast potatoes, roasted veg, roasted bread, roasted pork, roasted beef, and stuffing. No turkey, but I've always been a ham girl. Needless to say, it was a feast that culminated in me passing out on a couch.

Pretty bag ladies

The next day, Phoebe and I spent way too much time thinking about buying these bags. I truthfully don't remember why. Phoebe's broke less than 48 hours later. Cute but cheap.

The first course of our official CEI Thanksgiving Feast

One of the more awesome reasons that we went to Dali was because we assumed that with such a large foreign population hanging out in Old Town that there would be ongoing Thanksgiving feasts and we were not let down. The best part was that CEI paid for it. CEI paid for this delicious spiced pumpkin soup. I also had my palm read. No fortunes, although the palm reader was surprisingly astute.

Old Dali

So now that my camera is stolen, these pictures were all taken by Tom, until I realized that I could take pictures on his camera and then later nag him to death for him to give them to me!

We ran into our friend, Vinny, who used to work for CEI, while we were in Dali. Vinny actually hired me and now he runs a biking company in beautiful Yunnan. Vinny had a friend named Bob who has an amazing Moroccan chef. Bob volunteered his services to us, and together, the 15+ of us attended an amazingly cooked dinner of Moroccan food. We had multiple courses!

Morrocan food

The first was a cold rice salad with tuna. It looked like a fried rice but cold. There was a beautiful veggie salad with oil and red wine vinegar and hard boiled eggs. Then we had several things come out at once.  First was the hare. YUMMY. I was lucky that Axel forked me a tender dark meat piece. Covered in white raisins, it was sweet but not overbearing.

Hello little juicy bunny. You were delicious.

Almost immediately followed a mashed potato pot covered in cheese, as well as a powdered sugar sticky rice. CARBS, I love you.

Cheesy mash potatoes

As we sat, sated and full of delicious nom noms, the sexy chef brought forth a wrapped box. He hoped that we liked cakes, as he unwrapped these beautifully dense chocolate covered almond cakes. I'm salivating, still.

Chocolate covered cakes

All in all, I can gladly say that Dali is and will always be a welcome destination for a quick vacation. Even though I lost my camera, and I spent 1231 kuai this past weekend, which is more than half a month's salary but really only.. $183.96, which let's be real, that's only like.. 3 meals in New York. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving and you were able to watch the annual dog show, which I loathe but can't help but watch because some of those pups are sooo cute!

To all my friends back home, I love you and miss you! Happy nuptials, McTigues!