I'm in NYC!

If you actually read this, I will not be posting for a bit because I'm practicing hedonism to its fullest.

Penelope Cruz for MNG: I want to look like YOU

I mean, look at her, she's beautiful. I covet this eye makeup. OH, and she's dating Javier Bardem = rawwwwwwwwwr.

Better than a puppy, meet the slow loris

Some of my friends have dogs that they treat like children. They love them like a human child birthed from the womb. I see the appeal as obviously, puppies are the natural step before having a child. You have to take care of it, you lose sleep over it, your weekend plans have to be made well in advance and you have to have money to have this responsibility. Pay to take care of an animal that can't talk back to you but if given half a chance, will shower you with undying love. Can you tell I've never had a pet beyond fish? Even then, I was a poor caretaker. I won't elaborate.

Nothing beats a real baby - or does it...........? The slow loris could be a clear compromise - a smaller step closer to a child that is more advanced than a puppy. Feel free to consider it if you think you've dominated dog owning.

I just can't decide if the slow loris is cute or creepy. They're kind of like, living stuffed animals. The one being tickled was apparently shown on Good Morning, America and a lot of people think it's very cute. This video is by far, not the cutest ones. The slow loris in this footage looks slightly like an orangutan, slightly like a living stuffed animal, actually - exactly like a stuffed animal that has come alive at FAO Schwarz.

Native to Asia, the slow loris is an endangered species that is prized for its large eyes. They hunt these animals and kill them for their supposed medicinal purposes. Slow lorises are also apparently a popular pet in Japan. Look at the photo again and obviously you'll see why. They are pretty freaking cute. The unnerving bit about the loris is the fact that it looks like it has 4 little hands.

A quick BBC search turned up an article about the slow loris's pitiable state in the world. Coveted by Japanese ladies kawaiiii! ^.^, but hard to transport - if they leave their mothers too soon they lose the ability to clean themselves. Their mortality rates can range from ~30% to 90%. Costing anywhere from $1,500 to $4,500. Footage that I've provided proves exactly why I would love to keep one but creeps me out at the same time.

See this slow loris hanging? Arboreal and nocturnal creatures shouldn't be hanging off an ironing board alone. But maybe he's having fun. I would.



PRO cuteness:



CON cuteness:

Go, Flogo, Go!

Recently, Schott posted a mention on Flogos that looks pretty awesome. Flogos are flying logo bubbles that are the ads of the future! Soaps suds + helium = questionably good for the environment, but really creative and attention attracting.

Here's how they do it.


Basically it's like blowing bubbles into a stencil x 1000. I would like to see this, in perhaps giant Hello Kitty shapes. If they can make Hello Kitty pasta, they can make Hello Kitty Flogos. Here are the flogos that I liked:

Give us another Schott!

Schott's Vocab Blog from the NYTimes is one man's attempt to catalog new words that have been brought up in current news and culture. Ben Schott is the author of Schott's Miscellany and Almanac, that represent a year's news as I had never previously seen it before. He arranges knowledge in a categorical manner that appeals to the OCD in me.

His vocab blog is the daily version of his genius. Thanks to him, I learn something every day.

These are some of recent vocabs of note from Schott's Blog:


If you like tidbits of information arranged in a quick and interesting manner, you should definitely look into Ben Schott's blog and books!

Here's another sample from his Miscellany.

So what's the point of me posting all these images and samples? Schott has brought hilarious quotes and meaning into my life. His ability to sort through information on a daily basis makes me laugh. Forever, these quotes* dominated my facebook:

"My god is a god who wants me to have things. He wants me to bling!" - Mary J. Blige (in US Weekly)

Mary J. Blige's god is awesome! This is the god I worship.

"In some ways, people are a lot like animals. We all hunger for the same things. Love, lust, danger, warmth and adventure. Like people, animals all have their own rhythm to life. I'm mesmerized by tigers." - Britney Spears (blog)

I confess, I was mesmerized by tigers as well, Britney. Until I conducted a behavioral survey of them when I was 12 at Zoo Atlanta. For 6 weeks, I went to the zoo and watched the tigers and cataloged their movements. I expected them to run around, rip their meat to shreds, and do other mesmerizing things. Instead, they laid around for 2 hours at a time and I checked the same behavior every 6 mins, 20x in a row. I haven't been to Zoo Atlanta since.

"I find myself pretty darn intelligent." - Lindsay Lohan (to British GQ)

Lindsey Lohan, Lindsey Lohan?!

These are - beyond words.

I'm sure they're taken out of context, but how fitting and awesome. Schott, I love you.

*Schott, Ben. Schott's Almanac 2007 (New York: Bloomsbury USA, 2006), 122-123.

Definition of a Hipster

Ironically, my first perception of what a hipster came in China. I confess, I didn't know what it meant. It was 2007 and up until then, I was enrolled in a state university in the South and predominantly hung out with my friends, in my sorority. So hipsters... not my scene at all.

My friend started the beginning of my hipster discovery while gushing about how hipster her brother's haircut was. Hipster - there was that word again. I had just learned the word emo. Hipster... Hipster, hipster.

The Urban Dictionary offers the following definition of a hipster:

Hipster

Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Definitely cooler than you. Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Always denies being a hipster. Hates the word. Probably living off parents money - and spends a great deal of it to look like they don't have any. Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt). Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure. Sleeps with everyone and talks about it at great volume in crowded coffee shops. Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Kamel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Always on the list. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually.

When I returned to America, I realized that hipsters and I had a lot in common. Then, I realized, some of my friends were hipsters. Straaaaange. How did I not see this before? Do they deny it? Yes. Most definitely.

Don't worry. She's French.

To me, there are two separate definitions of what perceived hipsters are. On one side, a hipster is someone who is educated, who has read books and not those that are on the New York Times Best Sellers' list with last names as Grisham, Clancy, or Roberts. A hipster is a starving scholar who is not concentrated on things like fashion and wears hand-me-downs on her rail thin body. She makes them fit better with a belt. Hipsters listen to music that isn't popular, but often catchy, i.e. Feist, the Bird and the Bee (aaamazing). Hipsters drink PBR because it's cheap and not that bad. Who cares? Because a hipster is so thin that 2 PBRs = drunk.

This hipster often is confused with the faux hipster, the poseur. This hipster is no hipster at all. See, hipster=trendy right now. Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, even Anthropologie all have hipster flare and they all have pricing points starting at about minimum $35~$50 dollars for flannel. The boots she wears was not a thrift store find but instead a distressed boot that was actually purchased for $300. The scarf she wears was perhaps bought in a market in Italy, but she wishes that it was from somewhere like Maroc or Istanbul. Most likely it was purchased at Urban. These hipsters are pretentious about their taste in music and books. "You must read...", and "I'm sure you haven't heard of it, but...." are often how they start their sentences.

These hipsters don't venture out of their hipster circles. They starve themselves to achieve the hipster thin-ness although most likely, they never had any tits and ass in the first place. They wear dark empty horn-rimmed glasses. Knowing French can help you become a better hipster since France is home of hipsters. The exception to the hipster: people with French nationality.

A lot of people cannot be hipsters. Fat girls cannot be hipsters. Something about skinny jeans on more than 140 lbs is ironic, but not in a hipster manner. Girls with any sort of a body that can perceived as a woman - usually not a good a hipster. Androgyny is key. Hipster men wear jeans so tight that you know eventually hipster-isms must end, as these men will gain weight.

Hipsters are different from foodies, although there is some overlap. Foodies are not hipsters. Hipsters like to over infuse irony in their lives. "Look at me....don't look at me."

Both types can be found everywhere, with a high concentration known to be in Williamsburg. Hipsters in their most extreme form can be viewed here: Hilarious. Please don't be that hipster!

Feel free to enjoy this as well.

R&B hits of Yesteryear

My friends and I were reminiscing of the R&B hits of when R&B started becoming popular and these are a few that I feel like should be shared. They're slightly obscure, but definitely worth enjoying.

Whitney Houston's Heartbreak Hotel feat. Faith Evans and Kelly Price (who is very comfortable in her largess!) This was Whitney Houston's comeback. She's finished with Bobby Brown!! (She later gets back together with Bobby Brown.)




NSFW: Monifah's Touch It. A helicopter drops off Monifah in front of crowd of horny military men who want her. One man bites his fist in order to restrain himself. Monifah is NOT hot enough for these sexy sexy lyrics.



R. Kelly - all songs by R. Kelly are incredible, but this one: Contagious feat. the Isley Brothers is especially important. Plot: Mr. Bigg finds out that his girl has been cheating on him, with R. Kelly. This was definitely a precursor to R. Kelly's hip-hopera. For God's sake, please enjoy the pimp suit, pimp cane that pulls out to be a sword, the chandeliers, indulgent love scenes with R. Kelly's body, and most of all the lyrics. At least listen to the chorus at 1 min 26 secs.

I Spy a Copy!

I have always been a fan of Forever 21's cheap goodies and despite many places having accused the store of copying their goods, I've always been appreciative of this business model. Quick couture! I often like to look at expensive things for inspiration and then follow up by shopping at at Forever 21. I do not have the disposable income to buy 200$ shirts that I will only wear twice. But I do have enough money to spend 20$ on a shirt that I will wear perhaps.. about twice.

Intellectual property rights have intrigued me when concerning fashion. I did my college thesis on intellectual property right laws in China with a focus on trademark law. I wanted to be able to legitimately study intellectual property issues and write a 50 page paper on it. I also had to include a lot of Chinese history and trading agreements, etc. What I enjoyed doing especially was staring at fake Louis Vuitton goodies and debating the merits of why this is bad... a bad copy.

I've hardly ever been on the other side, having a shirt that Forever 21 has decided to copy. UNTIL NOW. I recently purchased a shirt at Urban Outfitters for $35 on sale, from it's original $50. This is chump change compared to other things that Forever 21 copies, but imagine my chagrin when I saw a similar shirt for only $25, at full price at Forever 21! What really yanks my chain is the fact that the Forever 21 shirt is in colors better suited for me. So it's a petty anger, and I mended this pain by actually going to Forever 21 and making some purchases that I'm sure are copies of other people's things. A woman in her 20s who has not admitted to shopping at Forever 21 is a) seriously rich, b) lying.

Anyway, this brings me to a common article that has been on many fashion blogs on the interwebs. Forever 21 has been forever in litigation over its business model. This time is no different. But damn, you have to admit, the copies are UNCANNY.

Forever 21 shirts on top, Trovata on bottom

The company bringing forth the charges is Trovata, and after some research, has a pricing point of circa $200. (294 for a cas white dress, 110 for a green tank top). I purchased two pairs of flip flops, a scarf, a necklace, and a belt for $40 today at Forever 21. If anything, I believe that Trovata's stock just rose slightly because I have never heard of their clothing and now I have.

A passage from Women's Wear Daily states that:

"Unlike other suits brought against Forever 21 in recent years by companies such as Diane von Furstenberg, Anna Sui, BeBe Stores and Anthropologie, the Trovata suit does not allege copyright violations. Under current law, only original prints or graphics on clothes can be copyrighted — as they are considered artwork — and Trovata’s suit focuses on Forever 21’s copying of its unique button placements, decorative stitching, fabric patterns and other details...."

I think that Trovata will have a hard time proving a substantive enough case that will affect the manner by which Forever 21, Mexx, MNG, Zara, and H&M do business. Coincidentally, these are ALL OF MY FAVORITE STORES. I actually relish when I'm on the other side of the copying schema, I normally just buy what I like, with no regard to what it could be a copy of. I shop at Antro and Forever 21 alike... as I believe many people my age do.

With this in mind, I decided to do a little investigating on my own. Doing something that I wouldn't normally do, looking at my favorite stores, then cross-checking for the Forever 21 website. I think I might have found something. Tell me what you think: (click to enlarge)

vs.

One is $25 on sale, versus the Forever 21 competition of being $5.80. Both are equally trendy, give about the same look, and you'll wear them the equal amount of times with same outfits. If given a choice, I'm picking Forever 21. Urban Outfitters has a right to be angry but hopefully people just don't know better. I hope this was educational!

The Horror!

I was leaving the library today and I saw a secret horror of mine come to fruition. The library that I go to almost everyday is connected to a park and has a water fountain that has many times quenched my thirst.

As I was leaving, I saw small child stand on the tips of his toes furiously sucking on the open nozzle of the water fountain. I had thought that children learn from a very young age not to drink directly from the fountain as you can expose yourself to germs![Germs! Germs - I am hardly a germaphobe, the idea of a germ is vibrant and horrifying to me. I'm pretty sure I hate the word itself.]

YIKES.
His lips pressed tightly on the nozzle of water, I cringed and cried on the inside. My fears were founded... and I'm pretty sure the germs look something a lot like this....

I want to be HER!

Today the NYT did a feature on a woman who is being paid 1/3 her normal salary - $80k to take a year off of work. Life isn't fair. 80k to not do anything? WAH. Why. not. me?

The Billionaire's Vinegar

Other than romance novels, I do read a bit of non-fiction that can be found in my public library. Nothing too deep, but I like to learn things.

This book first began with an article in the New Yorker, called the Jefferson Bottles. A page turner, this article alone tests the boundaries of my magazine/internet reading ability. Ten pages of continuous clicking, I was hooked and couldn't stop. Imagine my surprise when I discovered at the end of this article that it was actually detailed even more so in a book! I happily looked it up online and yes, it was available at my public library.
The Billionaire's Vinegar: The Mystery of the World's Most Expensive Bottle of Wine, tells the story of how one man was able to swindle most all of the avid wine collectors of the world. The premise of the book begins with a 1985 auction at Christie's where a 1787 Château Lafite Bordeaux was up for auction as having been a part of Thomas Jefferson's illustrious collection of wines. Handled by a mysterious German dealer, Hardy Rodenstock, the bottles were vouched for by Christie's. Previously a pop star manager, Rodenstock had a history of finding impossibly rare bottles to the pleasure of the wine world. No one contested his providences as wines so old rarely tasted like anything beyond vinegar anyway. He essentially messes up when he sells a bottle to a Florida billionaire who decides to begin an investigation into the possibility of these bottles being counterfeit. Wallace leads the reader through decades of deceit and indulgences on his discovery of the legitimacy of the 1787 Lafite. He seemingly has developed relationships with every player in his unraveling of the history of Jefferson, Lafite, and Rodenstock. He summarily is able to soundly describe each person's reasoning and actions.... You sound probably read this book.

Bravo is making the Real Gossip Girl

Eh. Called NYC Prep, Bravo is doing what MTV did with the O.C. and Laguna Beach. High school kids that you cannot make fun of, lust after or hate as much as on Gossip Girl, since they are real and mostly underage. What could be better, one would think? Real life Chuck? Yummy Nate? Beautiful Serena?... Well, wait until you see who's on the show.
My first question? Where's Chuck?

Then comes the barrage:

Where's the hotness? Seriously. Laguna Beach was pretty much able to match the hotness of the O.C.

Why is the girl the second from the right actually hideous?

Shouldn't there be someone with blonder hair?

But seriously, why isn't anyone good looking?

These girls need help, I have a hard time believing that anyone that looks like this is actually popular.

Maybe if I read their bios and see bigger photos of them, I'll like them better: you do the same!

Taylor.... is the LIVE Jenny - with the same name as Taylor Momsen who plays Jenny. She has a little bit of Vanessa in her. But she's not blonde and not cute. I spy a hint of a cankle.

Sebastian: all I see is tons of flat-ironed hair, so I assume it must be Nate.


PC? What the ... Is this a Microsoft commercial come to life? He's supposed to be Chuck, I guess? He's jaded but he has a long history with a specific girl - hmm.. sounds a lot like Laguna to me. AND HE'S NOT HOT.

Kelli, lives with her brother, like Jenny. All I see is that heinous hosiery and the fact that she's not blonde and beautiful. Cute, maaybe.
This is supposed to be BLAIR? Scoff. Yeah right. I can't watch this. She reminds me of the Green Giant.

All I see is her forehead. Sorry.

I love Kris Allen!

Confession: I watch American Idol. I love Anoop, Alison, and Kris Allen.

But I cannot get this out of my head. Despite the fact that he sings only out of one side of his mouth, thus looking slightly like a paralysis victim and has a wife that looks like every sorority girl that I know that has been recently married in the past 2 years... I love him. Kris Allen - You are sooo cute!

Ain't No Sunshine: Studio version



Ain't No Sunshine: Live version (I like this one better!)

Discovered! Secret Gchat Emoticons!

As a constant gchat user and lover, I'm very familiar with the official emoticons as stated on the Gmail website:

After a little research, I discovered that there's so much more! You can also create these!


How?

Try experimenting with these:

>.< turns into a WINCE
+/'\ turns into a COWBELL that dings and vibrates triumphantly
}:-) turns into a DEVIL smiley with red eyes and horns!
V.v.V turns into a CRAB that clicks his claws!
:(|) turns into MONKEY LIPS
:(:) turns into a PIG SNOUT
< / 3 turns into a BROKEN HEART
:-x or :* turns into a KISS
:{ turns into a MOUSTACHE
:'( turns into CRYING
[:|] turns into a ROBOT
~@~ turns into POO

My favorite is definitely the mustachioed man!


Happy chatting!

Can Passover Coke be found in Georgia? (UPDATE II)

While reading food blogs, I discovered an interesting tidbit that makes me want to get out of my seat and go to the grocery store! Apparently, around this time of the year, otherwise known by those of the Jewish faith as Passover time, Coke creates Coke with yellow bottle caps. Made with real cane sugar instead of high fructose syrup, it's delicious and a return to the original Coke Classic. I look forward to savoring that South American/European taste of sugar in my Coke!

For a better explanation, I've taken a little clip from NPR:

Linda Wertheimer (NPR):"First corn syrup is out for Passover because...?

Ralph Roberts, co-author of Classic Cooking with Coca-Cola: "Because corn, and by extension corn syrup, is not acceptable during Passover. During the rest of the year regular Coca-Cola is kosher."

Linda: "So, can you really taste the difference between the two Cokes?"

Ralph: "Yes, I can. I have great memories from when I was a kid growing up in the 1950's of drinking ice cold Coca-Cola on a hot summer's day and and I remember that taste and the new Coca-Cola, the "Classic" Coca-Cola does taste different since they changed the formula.

I'm looking for the yellow caps and will report back posthaste!

The outlook isn't so great though. Although ATL is the home of Coke, the amount of people celebrating Passover in my part of Georgia is pretty limited. I only knew two Jewish guys growing up, one named Kyle who was obese with a mom that came in every Hanukkah to give us coins and dreidels... and Chase, who was hot, who I didn't even believe was Jewish just because he lived in a super WASP-y neighborhood.... sorry about the non sequitur....... we'll see! I'm still excited!

______
4/12: I looked. Nothing. :( Will look again soon.

4/13: No to Stone Mountain Target. Tip stated that Toco Hills Kroger had Passover Coke, but has just been sold out. Toco Hills has quite a large concentration of those who practice the Jewish faith living in the surrounding areas.

Mission tomorrow: Toco Hills Publix.

Can't Stop the Manjoyment

After Facconable man, I took a peek at Zegna man and discovered that he trumps Facconable man by 10,000%. Facconable man is a pale comparison to Zegna man, who vacations in India with his princely tailoring. The epitome of manjoyment, let me show you. *All pictures taken from Zegna website!

Focus on who you so choose. Ladies, this man taste clings like honey on the tongue. Gentlemen, get inspired.



OMG! The following photo is SO BEAUTIFUL. I'd like to hitch a ride with these men.

Façonnable Man is Man-credible.

Behold, the Façonnable man. He is the stuff of mantasies. A man treat, for sure.

Man-licious.
He can romance me any time.

The Art of the Personal Ad

I don't know when the last time I laughed harder was. It all started with a memory of something that was posted on the Daily Intel. Someone mentioned something about how everyone looks at the personal ads on Craigslist, because c'mon, they're free. I scratched my head and realized that I had never done that before, and I surely had the time.

Then my mind turned to another blog that basically does full time what I am about to do, skewer men who post ads about themselves in order to attract women. (Please read: Why Women Hate Men. It's written by a man!) Something about this blog is funny, yet hard to read for me. Probably because it's disgusting...... but anyway.

Craigslist personal ads, men for women.

This act alone surely puts the recess in recession.

Funnier than videos on youtube, this act can entertain for atleast 20 mins.

Here are a few things that apparently men think will attract a woman:

puppy speaking as man: if you put up a picture of a yorkshire terrier and speak as though you are a dog in need of a new mommy and need to see a hot pic of that mommy, women will swoon at the idea of petting your puppy before obvi wanting to pet YOUR BIG DOG.

man crouching next to a car, and IN AN ATTIC: yes, if you crouch sexily next to an automobile that is supposed to be yours, I will want you. If you are crouching with beams in the background, this is obviously more of a testament of your masculinity. How? I don't know but I'm definitely INTO IT.

man confessing he wants just a stress relief before finals: i just liked this one because it was damn honest. Grad school is damn hard.

cock: JESUS CHRIST. this image simultaneously burned my retinas and violated me but I guess the idea is to show you the goods upfront. Man = Proud.

420 friendly: this one makes me laugh. You learn something new everyday. Apparently this is a common terminology used in personal ads. Telling your prospective woman that you like marijuana. Sounds less like a personal ad and more of a plea to get free pot.

a picture of a motorcycle: no person, just a picture of a random motorcycle. Because that's your motorcycle? Or you like motorcycles? Motorcycles symbolize what? A ride on the wild side? Living life on the leather-edge? This leads me to picture of the beach: if given an option to post a photo on a personal site, you post a clip art photo of a beach? You must be truly Ugly.

what the fuck is a redbone?

Seriously where's my Michelle because I know I'm her Barak: there are so many things wrong with this statement. Please learn how to use punctuation and spell-check. This one is a little clever, but LEARN HOW TO SPELL OUR PRESIDENT'S FIRST NAME.

These combined with compelling questions such as, "Does your breast need attention?", "Do you color outside the lines?", and the typical, "Are you the one?" made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion.

I cannot stop laughing. Nothing is funnier than men's pleas for love.

__________
Below are the Catches of the Day in Atlanta! Take your pick, ladies!

Baked Spinach Chips, Epic Fail

After the debacle with the sweet potato chips, I thought I would try a little something easier. Something I don't have to slice, something naturally thin. My food blogs have been talking about using other veggies, like kale or spinach. After viewing what they could look like for a few days now, I got excited and went to buy the ingredients.

what I saw.

I got started, things looked pretty goood.... I covered my spinach leaves with some balsamic vinaigrette dressing before sprinkling a little salt on top. Delicious? I thought so, too!

mm about to be a delight?

Little did I know that I was about to decimate my spinach and in their place, create delicious morsels of vegetables that were STUCK TO THE PAN. In my efforts to save calories, I did not spray the pan and wipe it down with oil. Oil free, the snack said, OIL FREE.

the potential here makes me sad.

I peeled off whatever I could salvage before trying my second batch. This time, I would use foil, but not oil. My eyes gleaming, the now, super shiny tray gleamed in return. Perhaps success would be mine!

So let's recap. I bought spinach leaves. I tossed in some balsamic vinaigrette. I laid them out. I put them on the sheet. I did not put oil, the recipe didn't call for it. I put the timer to 350. I put the sheet in. I set the timer for 7 mins and I stalked around.

I peeked in, the oven's light reflecting brightly off of the foil. My spinach leaves stuck themselves promptly to the foil and did not let go. What I needed was wax paper. This was the key. Too bad I don't have any, so I will concede this battle to the chips. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Finding a chip alternative has never been so hard and unsatisfying.

For what it's worth, what I could peel off was delicious and light and paper thin. I'm sure it has almost 0 calories and I will probably attempt to make these bad boys again.