Better than a puppy, meet the slow loris

Some of my friends have dogs that they treat like children. They love them like a human child birthed from the womb. I see the appeal as obviously, puppies are the natural step before having a child. You have to take care of it, you lose sleep over it, your weekend plans have to be made well in advance and you have to have money to have this responsibility. Pay to take care of an animal that can't talk back to you but if given half a chance, will shower you with undying love. Can you tell I've never had a pet beyond fish? Even then, I was a poor caretaker. I won't elaborate.

Nothing beats a real baby - or does it...........? The slow loris could be a clear compromise - a smaller step closer to a child that is more advanced than a puppy. Feel free to consider it if you think you've dominated dog owning.

I just can't decide if the slow loris is cute or creepy. They're kind of like, living stuffed animals. The one being tickled was apparently shown on Good Morning, America and a lot of people think it's very cute. This video is by far, not the cutest ones. The slow loris in this footage looks slightly like an orangutan, slightly like a living stuffed animal, actually - exactly like a stuffed animal that has come alive at FAO Schwarz.

Native to Asia, the slow loris is an endangered species that is prized for its large eyes. They hunt these animals and kill them for their supposed medicinal purposes. Slow lorises are also apparently a popular pet in Japan. Look at the photo again and obviously you'll see why. They are pretty freaking cute. The unnerving bit about the loris is the fact that it looks like it has 4 little hands.

A quick BBC search turned up an article about the slow loris's pitiable state in the world. Coveted by Japanese ladies kawaiiii! ^.^, but hard to transport - if they leave their mothers too soon they lose the ability to clean themselves. Their mortality rates can range from ~30% to 90%. Costing anywhere from $1,500 to $4,500. Footage that I've provided proves exactly why I would love to keep one but creeps me out at the same time.

See this slow loris hanging? Arboreal and nocturnal creatures shouldn't be hanging off an ironing board alone. But maybe he's having fun. I would.



PRO cuteness:



CON cuteness: