Britney's 3, Trashy and... Muscular?

I can't help but always fall in love with the music of Britney Spears. The music is the epitome of pop, the genius of the producers that guarantee her continued existence. Take a break from your pretentious hipster ideas and emotions. Stop denying yourself the pleasure. It's popular for a reason, it appeals to your inner trash. Her tunes are always catchy and in this video, all I can seem to stare at is her HUGE MUSCLES. Obvi, girl is working out with Madonna's ol' trainer that doesn't know how to control those muscles before they cross the line from lean to machine. Seriously, her back ripples. Still, I have to admit, I've heard this song a few more than 10 times already. Eeks! I do enjoy the bit where she's hanging on the pole with the white body suit with sunglasses. How fun!

My only complaint is in the beginning, where I can't tell when the video has begun and her commercial stops. Media integration is a bitch.

Oh, and if you watch the commercials before and after this post, you can see Britney's fragrances and her new greatest hits album.... even though she just came out with a greatest hits album about... 3 years ago? Sweet, sweet B :)

Recommended viewing quality? FULL SCREEN, OF COURSE.

Honey, I'm home!

I have to thank my friend Katie for this one.

Remember Dinosaurs? I can't believe I didn't remember this TV show until she said to me, Dinosaurs? Then, I immediately knew what she was talking about. Not only that, but I remember devoting HOURS to this show as un bebe.



P.S. I'm in Atlanta for the weekend!!! Yay, I've already gone back to my public library, and had a coffee from QT... oh. and I've worn pastels and bright colors in public to no one's disapproval. I have missed you GA! Of course, these things are in reference to: this post. Who knows? Maybe I'll go to Walmart in the middle of the night to visit the man who hits other people's kids too!

Laws! China Edition

Thank you NYtimes for your revealing article on ridiculous laws in China. Click for more.

Here's another tasty morsel from the article, in case you don't feel up to reading the article that I'm suggested :

"...Until being overruled by higher-ups in 2005, for instance, officials of a village in Chongqing Province forced unmarried women to pass a chastity test before receiving compensation for farmland appropriated by the government. They argued that only virgins deserved compensation." - Admit it! You're hooked.

In honor of Autumn

Helen, GA, Nov. 2008

The weather is brisk, the sun shines and the leaves are changing. There are sounds of dogs barking distantly as the autumn breeze swirls its leaves around you. At night, the smell of burning firewood permeates the air as the cold nips and flushes my cheeks. Every year I fall in love with autumn. In its honor, I take photos of the changes in foliage here in MD. I'm also including some beautiful leaves that I've seen in the past.

Helen, GA, Nov 2008

Potomac, MD Oct 25 2009

Potomac, MD, October 2009

Potomac, MD 2009

Washington, DC - October 2009

I am a human salt lick.

Two days later, I've just awaken and my mouth is dry like the desert that misses the rain. I still can't put contacts in my eyes and don't ask me how I know but I'm excreting salt at a high rate as well.

Oh, mistakes were made and here's how it began.

It was this past Friday that I went to my friend Katie's immediately post-work. 6:30 and hungry, we were not eating dinner until all of her friends had arrived and had some drinks. As usual, I only craved savory things, so while we were getting ready, Katie pulled out a small tub of roasted almonds covered in sea salt. By no means were these almonds absolutely amazingly delicious. Banish from your mind the idea that these bad boys were roasted then covered in sugar and then salted. They were plain, clean, and flavored with sea salt. Bar food, Katie called it. They're good for you, really. Throughout a 2.5 hour period, Katie and I proceeded to kill the half tub, while deep into conversations with new friends. UGH, this was a bad idea, but at this point in the night, I had already lost volume control and the thin barrier that usually stops me from saying silly things. Of course, I'd lost the ability to stop shoving things into my mouth as well.

We proceeded to dinner at this Medit restaurant where I proceeded to eat pita bread and pizza. No bigs right? Well apparently I had the foresight to place a piece of pita in my clutch, so when I woke up the next morning - I could get another taste. I discovered that the pita bread was definitely extremely salty, but that the pizza was made from the same dough. More sodium consumption!

Following din, we ended the night with extremely silly dancing where I was definitely suffering from an intense case of dry mouth. My mouth was so parched. It felt like a wind storm had gone through and blown away any moisture that could form. My body hated me. I couldn't make out if I wanted to. Ew, dry mouth make out sesh :( Yeahhhhh right.

Rawr - so if those salty clues weren't enough? On the cab ride home, I could not swallow, I was miserable and I had the dryest mouth in my non-hungover life... and no way to get water. I was in the cab for 15 mins and the entire way home, all I could do was stare longingly at the bottle of water that my cabbie had in his cup holder. That would have been a new low.

I consume about 5 glasses of water, followed by 7 glasses of water the following day. This is day two and my joints are swollen, my eyes cannot hold contacts and frankly I'm afraid to put anything salty in my mouth. This is my version of hell. As the ultimate lover of salt, I've come to realize that I can never consume salty delights in this carefree manner again. I'm moisturizing from the outside as my salt ingestion dries my skin out from the inside :(

Okay, enough whining, I must go drink 3 more liters of water. Needless to say, no one will be taking pictures of my bloat until I can de-bloat in about... 72 hours. xxx

PS I just licked my lips, they are salty and I have not been sucking on a salt lick lolli all night... RAWR!

To the man who was honking outside my window before 10 am on a Sunday morning,

I would strangle you with my bare hands, if it were not so impolite. Have you no consideration for the hardships that others may be going through? Just because you are impatient, do you have to cause others pain? AH!

Everytime I look at my blog, I get hungry

Basically, after staring at my blog for a while, I've decided that I need to start something new in my life. Shall I start an etsy and sell my mustaches? (eccentriciqi.etsy.com - obvi, I've already created it...) I still need to join a gym... but ... there's still a certain je ne sais pas missing. I've decided that I need to make new cupcakes because I am inspired constantly every time I look at my blog.

Now that I work for 1st and 2nd graders, I have a ready audience to eat my art. I wanted to make some Halloween cupcakes - perhaps some pumpkin cupcakes? But then after some thought, I decided that I didn't want the kids not to eat something because they had never tasted something before, so I decided to go to a fun favi = Halloween funfetti! After a short trip to the grocery store, I realized that I needed to downgrade that Halloween funfetti to a regular funfetti... let's hope nothing else drops! Will keep you updated.

Speaking of Etsy, have you heard of Regretsy? It's the blog that makes fun of weird finds on Etsy, with a tagline, "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet."

Sample object:


and what Regretsy had to say about this post:


http://www.regretsy.com/ . Hilarious.

Cute stuff I saw online!

OMGEE! Just surfing on fredflare.com and behold this!



Another view? Of course you want one!

Just casually making a pancake.... in my mini panda skillet!

Go to www.fredflare.com.

Beyonce or Shakira?

I was studying abroad when this song was first released. That's my excuse for not showing this to more people, earlier. It is out of this world amazing. Not for the lyrics, but instead because some director got to live out all of his fantasies in one video. Fast forward this vid to 2:20 and you will see what I'm talking about. When in your life have you ever been put in a situation where you can't tell the difference between Beyonce and Shakira? The trick to distinguish the two, as I've read on the message boards, is that Beyonce wears a gold chain. Prepare to be astounded!



Oh, to be able to contort and gyrate me body like that....

What makes a Leica camera so amazing?

Can you guess the price of this camera? If you know, then tell me why it's worth so much.

Friday: Funday

It's Friday, the weather is dreary in the DC area and I'm having a hard enough time not slipping on a wet surface today. I haven't even left for work, or gotten dressed for work.... sooo I'm still holding my breath.

Since it's Friday, I'm posting a small video treat, one that I like watching. If you like Joel McHale from E!'s the Soup, then you might like this tasty little clip.




Now that you've seen the video, doesn't it make you kind of want crump? Or at least my answer to crumping...wiggling around like you're having a seizure?

Picture of Taylor Swift... or.......

Take a look at this awesome pic of Taylor Swift + girl... and.. a little man on right - that man being Daniel Craig with a raging mustache. Reason No. 948057408347 I love Daniel Craig. Rock out with your Stache out, sir.

This:


being the first and only reason you would need to love Daniel Craig. RAWR.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any sicker

I saw this.

http://stachepassions.com/

MY GOD. It is real and glorious. My GOD. I have no words.

Just go there.

You cannot help but be drawn to these men, admit it.

My agenda for the day

1. Lie in bed as long as possible
2. Drink liquids
3. Somehow clean my room which has become a hell hole. How is one supposed to be sick in a messy room? It ain't gonna happen. I happen to believe that my recovery will come faster if my room is clean but I just can't muster up the energy to do so. CATCH 22!!!
a. Steam all wrinkled clothes
b. Vacuum (two of the things I like to do most in the world)



4. Buy a 64 pack of Crayola crayons. It makes me sad to see the kids that I work with only have like.. at most 24 packs of Rose art crayons. I don't know about you but I know that Crayola crayons were a status symbol as a child. The bigger the better, and always crayola. ALWAYS. I'll just get 64 for now, but I can't promise that if the 96 isn't alluring, that I won't get it. UGH I'm addicted to consumption but I can't help but happily await the opening of that huge ass crayon pack. Get ready to get jealous you 6 and 7 year olds. You're about to learn how to read by learning all the colors of my crayons.
5. Draw pictures for kids. I'm assuming they are drawing some for me. Quid pro quo, babies.

In honor of all the med students I met this weekend...

I thought that this would be an extremely gross video that you might want to watch from one of my favorite shows featured on Hulu - Green Wing, a Brit com that originally began airing in 2004. It's probably the most disgusting thing that can happen during surgery and something that I hope NEVER happens to me. UGH. Don't watch this if you have just eaten. Not for the faint of heart or stomach. YEUCK.

That being said. ENJOY :)

WHO is the Liberal Arts Lesbian?

Ah, the age old question of gay or weird. I'm sure that you're familiar with the questions that arise when questioning someone's sexuality: gay or weird?, gay or European? and when referring to mesh, gay or European or Jersey?

These questions are usually come up regarding men of questionable sexuality. I've come to determine that a man's sexuality can easily be unraveled by watching him as he watches an attractive women. If indifferent or extremely interested as though to throw you off the scent of his homosexuality = GAY.

But back to the question at hand: until now, I had never bothered to apply this set of questions to girls. My love of men is quite overwhelming that I'm afraid that I simply fathom the lesbian nature.

LEZ-be-honest here, I will admit that there's nothing more disgusting that seeing a man in only a t-shirt and no pants and all bare hairy legs, but that alone has not been able to drive me to want another's snatch. Let's refer to the Liberal Arts Lesbian from this point as the LAL. I admit, I've very confused by LALs because I just don't have the same exposure to them as I do the men. Men flock to me like flamers to a flame.

Yep, she's a LAL. OH, JODIE.

The confusing factor is those girls that are LALs are usually creative, hipster types that perhaps may be slightly awkard/dorky and may be even cute. LALs seem to be normal-ish girls that happen to be attracted to other LALs. They aren't particularly butch, they don't need to have physical indications of higher testosterone levels such as extreme back or facial hair... More often than not, your average LAL may just seem like an over-affectionate girl onto other girls.

Personally, I feel like there must be a rather thin line between LALs and awkward self photo taking girl that is so starved for human affection that she's nuzzling her face anywhere she can, all while liking the D.

I admit it. I've been flabbergasted through the course of this blog... but truthfully, I'm going to continue lusting after boys now.

Self Photos: Not OK.

To all of my (mostly) ladies who change their facebook profiles constantly on facebook, there is an incredible canyon sized difference between posting a photo of yourself taken by another versus posting a photo of yourself taken by yourself. What is worse, is possessing a history of posting self taken photos of yourself constantly.

This is what I can only assuming that you’re thinking:
(from least to most extreme)

1. You are shy around all camera except your own.
2. You wanted to show people that you look good, even when you’re sitting at home, alone, full made up in front of your computer.
3. You think that the only person that can you justice to your face is you.
4. You think that you look so cute while making funny faces with your friend (assuming you’re not alone).

That was a list of what you think; This is what I see.

1. You put on make up and like to dress up only for the purpose of taking photos alone in your bedroom.
2. You want to make that sexy face that you know you’ve perfected (through multiple self photos, of course) public, you’re welcome, world.
3. No one else takes pictures of you.
4. You are experiencing a friend deficiency.
5. You should read, get a hobby.
6. Why express emotions verbally, when you can do so using the power of digital photography? You’re just keeping it simple.

In the case of entire self taken photos, more is not better.

Needless to say, self photos are not attractive and usually unfavorable. Not to mention they scare me.

There are a few exceptions.
1. You’re in a foreign country and there are no other people around, perhaps you don’t speak the language and you really want to take a picture of you in that certain surrounding.
2. You are taking a photo with a friend that you haven’t seen in quite some time. You’re soon to be separated again. Nothing is cuter than getting close and get a snapshot of the moment.
3. You’re drunk and it’s really just a one time thing to do while you’re killing time.
4. There is no mirror and you need to check on your hair/make sure there is nothing stuck in your teeth before you meet others.
5. You are Kim Kardashian.

In general, self photos are just not as good of an option as having someone else taking your photo. Really, if you had any friends at all, you would be able to have someone else take it.

Think of the pros:

1. There is a better shot of the surrounding environment.
2. It is not too close to your face, depending solely on how long your arm is, and what is on eye level to be put on timer.

I understand that sometimes there can be a necessity for many of you, this is hardly a problem. To those of you that might be guilty of this habit. You already know what I’m thinking, do with that what you will.

Midnight's Children is being made into a movie!

This man is finalizing the script! What is it about Salman Rushdie that makes him look like the creepiest man at the club?

Thanks, NYmag!

Good snack, Bad snack

As some of you might have figured out, I work with children these. I actually teach 6 and 7 year olds to read by forcing them to sound out horrible hard words like... goat and chicken. Today we're going to play a quick game of good snack, bad snack. These are of course, only in my humble opinion.

Good snacks: baby carrots, apple slices, grapes, little cookies, goldfish crackers.

Bad snacks: slim jims and this: a GIANT APPLE.

Dear people who work with me, what made you think that buying apples from Costco the size of the heads of babies for babies would be delicious, nutritious, and .... REALISTIC? You end up with something that looks like this:

Do you see what happens? Gnawing happens. Baby teeth that are in the process of replacing themselves with their permanent counterparts do not have that much experience biting into HARD, giant apples. I applaud this baby for giving it some effort, chewing the bottom corners, and pulling a hard line down the middle of the apple.

Let's think this through people.

What is your favorite book?

A well organized meeting of strangers usually includes some good icebreakers.

College is the sweet spot for icebreakers, it's perfectly socially acceptable to reveal horribly deep secrets about yourself that usually include sometimes a taboo sexual experience (you know who you are, you sluts, you ;) Two truths and a lie, Never Have I Ever.... these games are fun while sitting in a circle, by candlelight, at a dining room table, or accompanied by booze.

I am always a fan of icebreaking games, they really do work. Telling people strange facts about yourself is always interesting because, at the end of the day, friends don't become friends with each other from asking each other where they're from. They become friends because they know each other's secrets, they've somehow found a common block from which to build a friendship.

When you're younger, you have to meet people the awkward way = you band together while against a common foe. Later in life, it happens again. People organize themselves among common experiences, interests, or activities. Today, I attended one of these events where I entered into a circle that I knew I would be welcome, despite the fact that I knew no one.

As a sorority girl in college, I knew that I would one day be able to call on any sister, no matter the community that I would reside in. I just never thought I would. Well, a little more than a year later, I've done it. I called upon the Potomac chapter, and they've welcomed me into their alumnae network...

Just one unforeseen hurdle.... Everyone in the Potomac chapter is in the least 12 years older than me. Irma is 65+. Eeks. These will not be girls that I booze with at night. These are ladies, with daughters my age, with jobs, careers, and the ones that are 35 are 12 years more worried about getting married. They've led complete lives and they can do whatever they choose. I cannot. How was I going to talk to these ladies? Icebreak this situation, duh!

Whew! Well! My icebreaker question was pretty simple. What is your favorite book/publication? Who can name a favorite book right off the top of their head? I shall doff my hat to you sir, if you can!

First possible answer: True, but boring. I can identify genres of books that I like to read, but my favorite would probably be Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children. *yawwwwwwwwn* boring.

Bad icebreaker answer.

My answer: I read two types of books/publications in my spare time, on the metro on my way to and back from work. The first is the Economist, the smart publication that I hold up proudly. I recently caught a deal from NYmag, 12 issues from $12, which you can bet that I jumped on like a rabid dog. When I pull out my Economist, I wave it around on the metro, like a flag that signals the men on the Hill that I'm smart, I'm in the Know and that I am a conscientious citizen of the world. But my secret pleasure, which you know already if you know me, is romance novels. When I open one, I can't shut it and usually I'm bent over reading a romance novel whose front cover I have open on my leg, so that no eyes can see the busty Victorian woman being held by the dashing gentleman on the front cover. I feel deliciously naughty reading that awesomely descriptive trash while sitting on my orange metro car. I'm usually pretty wary about reading these because I'm afraid of what people might accidentally catch from reading over my shoulder, but at the end of the day, I don't care thaaaat much. My biggest fear when I bring my romance novels to work is that my bag might knock over and that my secret may be revealed to my charges, my 1st and 2nd graders. Imagine what a kick that would be!

Good icebreaker answer... and If you couldn't tell, I talk a lot.

Free Coffee at Starbucks from Oct 2 - Oct 5

I hate to be an unpaid promoter of Starbucks, but if you would like a regular tall brew for free, just go into a Starbucks from today until Monday and tell them that you want to try the VIA, their new instant coffee. After you sample the taste test, which I got wrong, you will get a free coupon for a free brew that's good until some time in November.

I plan on going into every Starbucks from here into DC that I pass, to try this, so I can stock up on coupons. The weather here is cold and nothing makes me want a hot coffee more in this coming month!

M is for Mustache

If a picture says a thousand words, the words that describe a picture that includes mustaches must be spectacular. A mustache, to be pronounced moose-tache from this point forward, is a sign of virility. A man who is virile can grow thick bushy hair on his face. Personally you may think it disgusting, but many a woman has confessed a love for Burt Reynolds, among others.

Words that I suggest should describe a mustache: thick, sexual, amazing, incredible, worldly, surprising, looks-good-on-you, rawwwwwwwwwrrrrr.

Since I am a woman, I do not possess the virility to grow a mustache. (Although some women, including a questionably masculine one that I saw on the Metro, can. Caster Semenya, the South African athlete who recently had her gender questioned due to her lack of breasts and the idon’tknow FULL BLOWN stache on her face… can also grow a mustache. For the record, haha because she has semen in her last name, and she’s def a hermaphrodite. I mean, dude!, come ON.) Instead, because I am a woman, I am crafty and creative, and able to manipulate felt to whatever shape I so choose.

No, your eyes are not lying to you. Felt + popsicle sticks + glue + creativity = moose-taches that are clean and classy.

So many mustaches!

Before I embarked on my new craft, I did a web search and nothing turned up, so what you’re about to see has been firstly created by me. What was the final product?

My cousin graciously acted as a model for my products on my birthday. Love it. That's an order.

LOVE this.

Jude Law makes me Gaga

Although I haven't seen anything that Jude Law has done in a while, I did love him while the world loved him - remember? When he had like.. 5 movies come out all at once? Alfie, I Heart Huckabees..... Been there. Loved it.



I had no idea that Jude Law could be so funny until he was on Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy does things to people :) I mean, I watch this show because he's awkward and he makes people do weird, young-ish things that I would like to do. But let's go back to the topic at hand. Jude, I feel as though his British accent and a certain timbre of his voice is what really makes the ladies melt for him and pop out so many of his babies.

Even as he was saying that he was bluffin' with his muffin, I was totes into it. MMM, theatrically ridiculous readings made by sexy British men always work on zeee American ladies. or perhaps just me!

P.S. Thanks Vulture.

Stuff I can't read and won't bother looking up

I don't know what this says, but it's a demo on how to play with Hello Kitty finger puppets. I find it disturbing and cute all at once. Thought I would share, and that you could share in my disgust.

Backward Progression Alert!

Here, look at some HKs that I haven't bought.

Having worked two days at a paying job, I will tell you that I might have officially gone crazy. I can't tell you the details, EXACTLY, but I will tell you what it has caused me to do. I have purchased all of about.... 6 Hello Kitty items in the past two days. These items, include but are not limited to - a bookbag for children ages 3+, a letter set, and these collectible HKs that you see at the Urban Outfitters, but are now being sold at Target. If this wasn't a random cute-induced post, I would post pictures. Instead, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.