Tinder thinks I'm in Paris

Dear Laurent, Belahcene, Mad, Alexis, Amine, Marc-Antoine, Pierluigi, Jean, Dara, Yoel, Badreddine, Alexandre, Prive, Saada, Phillipe, Mickael, Matthieu, Etienne, Andres, Julien, Youssef, Laurian, Olivier, Cyril, Celestin, Antoine, Pierre, Adrien, and Yann,

It's confusing, I know. I'm sorry. One second, I'm 2 or 3 miles away, then... Tinder flips me back to where I actually am, in San Francisco, and I'm back to being 5560 miles away.

It's just too bad because, Yoel, you're not so bad yourself. Alexis, your English is superb but I'm not your babe.

Yes, I was in Paris briefly almost a fortnight ago. Yes, it was fantastic. No, I'm not available to hook up with a French guy and it's a pity because every man on French Tinder is kind of hot. Ladies, if you're traveling soon, don't hesitate to pop open your Tinder and take a look!

#thisiswhyimsingle

What could be better than David Gandy?

This video: currently, as of July 18, 2014 at 2 pm PDT,  it has more hits than J.Lo's First Love.

It's adorable. Based on the music, the couple is my age. I'm impressed and enthralled. Enjoy. 

David Gandy is Adonis

First, watch this video. Let's contemplate together how lucky Jennifer Lopez is. She's ageless, she's stunning, her cheekbones = wow.

Now, let's just set up how this video was created. All of this was made up in my mind, but I'd like to think some of it was true. Jennifer has this song. It's called First Love, so naturally, J. Lo is thinking, I've got to find the hottest man on Earth right now, because that could be believable as her first love.

Lo and behold, David Gandy is the number 1 ranked male model is G.B. and in my humble opinion, the world.

Ta Da. J.Lo's people call David Gandy. They pitch him the idea:

All you need to do, David, is dress in an all white body suit, brood at J.Lo dancing from across the room, stand underneath a shower in your all white body suit, ride a motorcycle, carry a large tire, and roll around with J.Lo in the desert. SLOWLY.
You don't need to shower the day before, we've got that for ya. Smiles optional. 

David Gandy says yes. This video was made and my brain has exploded.

Scroll to 3:18, 3:26, 3:28 for glimpses of pure pleasure. You're welcome. Sorry , not sorry for being a fan girl and don't ask me how old I am. 

6 things I'm obsessed with at the moment

This is why I'm not blogging.

I'm obsessed with:

1. Teas and finding cute accouterments. I'm looking at Mariage-Frere teas like it's my business.

2. Anthropologie dresses and teapots.

3. Moynat bags, specifically the Rejane. (Hey Rashid!, if somehow Moynat keeps a Google alert on their brand and my blog shows up!)

4. Finding all my lipsticks.

5. Taking advantage of the fact that my Tinder still thinks I'm in Paris. Love swiping on Adriens.

6. David Gandy. What I want for my birthday: David Gandy by Dolce and Gabbana.