Cycling Hipsters Beware

Look you fucking hipster. If you think that you deserve to ride your bike in between a truck with 8+ wheels and my 3k pound ride and survive, you're sadly mistaken. The rules of the road still apply. The fact that I almost ran you down today because I was riding on a shopping high means that a) you almost died, b) you're counting on the mercy factor and the fact that killing someone would ruin my high. I hate you as I braked to 5 miles an hour to look at you pedal in your too damn tight hipster jeans as I wonder how you could have any muscles in order to cycle. Maybe if you had more developed calves we wouldn't be in this situation!