My agenda for the day

1. Lie in bed as long as possible
2. Drink liquids
3. Somehow clean my room which has become a hell hole. How is one supposed to be sick in a messy room? It ain't gonna happen. I happen to believe that my recovery will come faster if my room is clean but I just can't muster up the energy to do so. CATCH 22!!!
a. Steam all wrinkled clothes
b. Vacuum (two of the things I like to do most in the world)



4. Buy a 64 pack of Crayola crayons. It makes me sad to see the kids that I work with only have like.. at most 24 packs of Rose art crayons. I don't know about you but I know that Crayola crayons were a status symbol as a child. The bigger the better, and always crayola. ALWAYS. I'll just get 64 for now, but I can't promise that if the 96 isn't alluring, that I won't get it. UGH I'm addicted to consumption but I can't help but happily await the opening of that huge ass crayon pack. Get ready to get jealous you 6 and 7 year olds. You're about to learn how to read by learning all the colors of my crayons.
5. Draw pictures for kids. I'm assuming they are drawing some for me. Quid pro quo, babies.

In honor of all the med students I met this weekend...

I thought that this would be an extremely gross video that you might want to watch from one of my favorite shows featured on Hulu - Green Wing, a Brit com that originally began airing in 2004. It's probably the most disgusting thing that can happen during surgery and something that I hope NEVER happens to me. UGH. Don't watch this if you have just eaten. Not for the faint of heart or stomach. YEUCK.

That being said. ENJOY :)

WHO is the Liberal Arts Lesbian?

Ah, the age old question of gay or weird. I'm sure that you're familiar with the questions that arise when questioning someone's sexuality: gay or weird?, gay or European? and when referring to mesh, gay or European or Jersey?

These questions are usually come up regarding men of questionable sexuality. I've come to determine that a man's sexuality can easily be unraveled by watching him as he watches an attractive women. If indifferent or extremely interested as though to throw you off the scent of his homosexuality = GAY.

But back to the question at hand: until now, I had never bothered to apply this set of questions to girls. My love of men is quite overwhelming that I'm afraid that I simply fathom the lesbian nature.

LEZ-be-honest here, I will admit that there's nothing more disgusting that seeing a man in only a t-shirt and no pants and all bare hairy legs, but that alone has not been able to drive me to want another's snatch. Let's refer to the Liberal Arts Lesbian from this point as the LAL. I admit, I've very confused by LALs because I just don't have the same exposure to them as I do the men. Men flock to me like flamers to a flame.

Yep, she's a LAL. OH, JODIE.

The confusing factor is those girls that are LALs are usually creative, hipster types that perhaps may be slightly awkard/dorky and may be even cute. LALs seem to be normal-ish girls that happen to be attracted to other LALs. They aren't particularly butch, they don't need to have physical indications of higher testosterone levels such as extreme back or facial hair... More often than not, your average LAL may just seem like an over-affectionate girl onto other girls.

Personally, I feel like there must be a rather thin line between LALs and awkward self photo taking girl that is so starved for human affection that she's nuzzling her face anywhere she can, all while liking the D.

I admit it. I've been flabbergasted through the course of this blog... but truthfully, I'm going to continue lusting after boys now.

Self Photos: Not OK.

To all of my (mostly) ladies who change their facebook profiles constantly on facebook, there is an incredible canyon sized difference between posting a photo of yourself taken by another versus posting a photo of yourself taken by yourself. What is worse, is possessing a history of posting self taken photos of yourself constantly.

This is what I can only assuming that you’re thinking:
(from least to most extreme)

1. You are shy around all camera except your own.
2. You wanted to show people that you look good, even when you’re sitting at home, alone, full made up in front of your computer.
3. You think that the only person that can you justice to your face is you.
4. You think that you look so cute while making funny faces with your friend (assuming you’re not alone).

That was a list of what you think; This is what I see.

1. You put on make up and like to dress up only for the purpose of taking photos alone in your bedroom.
2. You want to make that sexy face that you know you’ve perfected (through multiple self photos, of course) public, you’re welcome, world.
3. No one else takes pictures of you.
4. You are experiencing a friend deficiency.
5. You should read, get a hobby.
6. Why express emotions verbally, when you can do so using the power of digital photography? You’re just keeping it simple.

In the case of entire self taken photos, more is not better.

Needless to say, self photos are not attractive and usually unfavorable. Not to mention they scare me.

There are a few exceptions.
1. You’re in a foreign country and there are no other people around, perhaps you don’t speak the language and you really want to take a picture of you in that certain surrounding.
2. You are taking a photo with a friend that you haven’t seen in quite some time. You’re soon to be separated again. Nothing is cuter than getting close and get a snapshot of the moment.
3. You’re drunk and it’s really just a one time thing to do while you’re killing time.
4. There is no mirror and you need to check on your hair/make sure there is nothing stuck in your teeth before you meet others.
5. You are Kim Kardashian.

In general, self photos are just not as good of an option as having someone else taking your photo. Really, if you had any friends at all, you would be able to have someone else take it.

Think of the pros:

1. There is a better shot of the surrounding environment.
2. It is not too close to your face, depending solely on how long your arm is, and what is on eye level to be put on timer.

I understand that sometimes there can be a necessity for many of you, this is hardly a problem. To those of you that might be guilty of this habit. You already know what I’m thinking, do with that what you will.

Midnight's Children is being made into a movie!

This man is finalizing the script! What is it about Salman Rushdie that makes him look like the creepiest man at the club?

Thanks, NYmag!

Good snack, Bad snack

As some of you might have figured out, I work with children these. I actually teach 6 and 7 year olds to read by forcing them to sound out horrible hard words like... goat and chicken. Today we're going to play a quick game of good snack, bad snack. These are of course, only in my humble opinion.

Good snacks: baby carrots, apple slices, grapes, little cookies, goldfish crackers.

Bad snacks: slim jims and this: a GIANT APPLE.

Dear people who work with me, what made you think that buying apples from Costco the size of the heads of babies for babies would be delicious, nutritious, and .... REALISTIC? You end up with something that looks like this:

Do you see what happens? Gnawing happens. Baby teeth that are in the process of replacing themselves with their permanent counterparts do not have that much experience biting into HARD, giant apples. I applaud this baby for giving it some effort, chewing the bottom corners, and pulling a hard line down the middle of the apple.

Let's think this through people.

What is your favorite book?

A well organized meeting of strangers usually includes some good icebreakers.

College is the sweet spot for icebreakers, it's perfectly socially acceptable to reveal horribly deep secrets about yourself that usually include sometimes a taboo sexual experience (you know who you are, you sluts, you ;) Two truths and a lie, Never Have I Ever.... these games are fun while sitting in a circle, by candlelight, at a dining room table, or accompanied by booze.

I am always a fan of icebreaking games, they really do work. Telling people strange facts about yourself is always interesting because, at the end of the day, friends don't become friends with each other from asking each other where they're from. They become friends because they know each other's secrets, they've somehow found a common block from which to build a friendship.

When you're younger, you have to meet people the awkward way = you band together while against a common foe. Later in life, it happens again. People organize themselves among common experiences, interests, or activities. Today, I attended one of these events where I entered into a circle that I knew I would be welcome, despite the fact that I knew no one.

As a sorority girl in college, I knew that I would one day be able to call on any sister, no matter the community that I would reside in. I just never thought I would. Well, a little more than a year later, I've done it. I called upon the Potomac chapter, and they've welcomed me into their alumnae network...

Just one unforeseen hurdle.... Everyone in the Potomac chapter is in the least 12 years older than me. Irma is 65+. Eeks. These will not be girls that I booze with at night. These are ladies, with daughters my age, with jobs, careers, and the ones that are 35 are 12 years more worried about getting married. They've led complete lives and they can do whatever they choose. I cannot. How was I going to talk to these ladies? Icebreak this situation, duh!

Whew! Well! My icebreaker question was pretty simple. What is your favorite book/publication? Who can name a favorite book right off the top of their head? I shall doff my hat to you sir, if you can!

First possible answer: True, but boring. I can identify genres of books that I like to read, but my favorite would probably be Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children. *yawwwwwwwwn* boring.

Bad icebreaker answer.

My answer: I read two types of books/publications in my spare time, on the metro on my way to and back from work. The first is the Economist, the smart publication that I hold up proudly. I recently caught a deal from NYmag, 12 issues from $12, which you can bet that I jumped on like a rabid dog. When I pull out my Economist, I wave it around on the metro, like a flag that signals the men on the Hill that I'm smart, I'm in the Know and that I am a conscientious citizen of the world. But my secret pleasure, which you know already if you know me, is romance novels. When I open one, I can't shut it and usually I'm bent over reading a romance novel whose front cover I have open on my leg, so that no eyes can see the busty Victorian woman being held by the dashing gentleman on the front cover. I feel deliciously naughty reading that awesomely descriptive trash while sitting on my orange metro car. I'm usually pretty wary about reading these because I'm afraid of what people might accidentally catch from reading over my shoulder, but at the end of the day, I don't care thaaaat much. My biggest fear when I bring my romance novels to work is that my bag might knock over and that my secret may be revealed to my charges, my 1st and 2nd graders. Imagine what a kick that would be!

Good icebreaker answer... and If you couldn't tell, I talk a lot.

Free Coffee at Starbucks from Oct 2 - Oct 5

I hate to be an unpaid promoter of Starbucks, but if you would like a regular tall brew for free, just go into a Starbucks from today until Monday and tell them that you want to try the VIA, their new instant coffee. After you sample the taste test, which I got wrong, you will get a free coupon for a free brew that's good until some time in November.

I plan on going into every Starbucks from here into DC that I pass, to try this, so I can stock up on coupons. The weather here is cold and nothing makes me want a hot coffee more in this coming month!

M is for Mustache

If a picture says a thousand words, the words that describe a picture that includes mustaches must be spectacular. A mustache, to be pronounced moose-tache from this point forward, is a sign of virility. A man who is virile can grow thick bushy hair on his face. Personally you may think it disgusting, but many a woman has confessed a love for Burt Reynolds, among others.

Words that I suggest should describe a mustache: thick, sexual, amazing, incredible, worldly, surprising, looks-good-on-you, rawwwwwwwwwrrrrr.

Since I am a woman, I do not possess the virility to grow a mustache. (Although some women, including a questionably masculine one that I saw on the Metro, can. Caster Semenya, the South African athlete who recently had her gender questioned due to her lack of breasts and the idon’tknow FULL BLOWN stache on her face… can also grow a mustache. For the record, haha because she has semen in her last name, and she’s def a hermaphrodite. I mean, dude!, come ON.) Instead, because I am a woman, I am crafty and creative, and able to manipulate felt to whatever shape I so choose.

No, your eyes are not lying to you. Felt + popsicle sticks + glue + creativity = moose-taches that are clean and classy.

So many mustaches!

Before I embarked on my new craft, I did a web search and nothing turned up, so what you’re about to see has been firstly created by me. What was the final product?

My cousin graciously acted as a model for my products on my birthday. Love it. That's an order.

LOVE this.

Jude Law makes me Gaga

Although I haven't seen anything that Jude Law has done in a while, I did love him while the world loved him - remember? When he had like.. 5 movies come out all at once? Alfie, I Heart Huckabees..... Been there. Loved it.



I had no idea that Jude Law could be so funny until he was on Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy does things to people :) I mean, I watch this show because he's awkward and he makes people do weird, young-ish things that I would like to do. But let's go back to the topic at hand. Jude, I feel as though his British accent and a certain timbre of his voice is what really makes the ladies melt for him and pop out so many of his babies.

Even as he was saying that he was bluffin' with his muffin, I was totes into it. MMM, theatrically ridiculous readings made by sexy British men always work on zeee American ladies. or perhaps just me!

P.S. Thanks Vulture.

Stuff I can't read and won't bother looking up

I don't know what this says, but it's a demo on how to play with Hello Kitty finger puppets. I find it disturbing and cute all at once. Thought I would share, and that you could share in my disgust.

Backward Progression Alert!

Here, look at some HKs that I haven't bought.

Having worked two days at a paying job, I will tell you that I might have officially gone crazy. I can't tell you the details, EXACTLY, but I will tell you what it has caused me to do. I have purchased all of about.... 6 Hello Kitty items in the past two days. These items, include but are not limited to - a bookbag for children ages 3+, a letter set, and these collectible HKs that you see at the Urban Outfitters, but are now being sold at Target. If this wasn't a random cute-induced post, I would post pictures. Instead, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.

Microsoft's dunDundun! Love Obsession with Kylie

This is getting good!



How does Kylie get three commercials from Microsoft in shorter and shorter periods of time? How has she aged so quickly in such a short amount of time?

I obviously don't like her as much as the first commercial, or even the second commercial... but... I can't help but admit that she's pretty damn cute. I miss you, pale chubby cheeks :(

Actually, this latest commercial reminds me of Kittens, Inspired by Kittens:



ENJOY! :) :) :) :)

Drink Evian!

While I've always been a fan of drinking Evian and spraying Evian Brumisateur in my face... I'm not sure what I think about these dancing babies.

First impression, cute. Second thought, creepy. But then.. they might be cute. I like the part when they jump on the fence!



Anyway, regardless of what I think, apparently 11 million people saw this video this summer and I didn't, so I thought I would share it with you now.

Remember! The daily amount of water that you should drink is your weight divided by two - in ounces. So if I weighed 100 lbs, I would need to drink at least 50 oz. of water a day.

Guess the product!

What ad is this and is this really a new development?



Hasn't vibration always been doing what no hand can? Mwahahaha.

Scroll down to see the full ad!



















Has Maybelline perhaps dropped the ball on this one? If I spend $10 on this vibrating tool, am I really going to put it over my eyes?

Spotted: Hello Kitty in the Media

Has my blog become too Hello Kitty centric lately? Because I want to make it clear that this is not a Hello Kitty blog.

With that being said, let me post another blog on HK - this time being worn by pure evil Georgina Sparks herself - otherwise known as Michele Trachtenberg on her other show, Mercy. Obvi, she's trying to trick people into thinking that she's not pure evil, but we all know that that is not true.

If you are a nurse and reading this, wear these scrubs.... and tell me if you think I have appendicitis.

Found: Facebook Chat Emoticons

Before you read on, I need to say that I hate facebook chat the most out of all chats. But, if you're going to use them, here are some emoticons that someone named Caleb Brown discovered and posted here.

Most notably, the most awesome emoticons would be Chris Putnam, Shark, and Penquin. WHO is Chris Putnam?

AWESOME.

Do you love emoticons? Don't forget about my blog about the gchat emoticons! Happy FBchatting! Although, nothing creeps me out more than a random FBchat session popping up when I'm in the middle of some harmless topical stalking..........

Hello Kitty Cake Collage

What's better than cupcakes? Hello Kitty cupcakes. What's better than a cupcake photo?

BAM!

An HK cupcake collage... or if you've already read the other article, you'd know that this is another cupcake collage.. NOM NOM NOM.

Obvi you need to click to enlarge

Cake Baker Birthday

I've discovered that after a certain age, the magic if your birthday fades and you begin to have create any magic that you want to happen.

I was determined to do this yesterday. After spending the morning running errands and signing papers, I was set on continuing the trend of Hello Kitty cakes. I hardly possessed the artistry and skill that Stepperoo had, so how was I going to do this?

Cupcakes, duh.

I had spent the night before viewing possible ways to creative ice my cupcakes. Man, I love the internet. An hour of ravage web surfing and I'm a ready made chef!

With limited time to get ready, I took the lazy man's out - mix up the mix. MMM, nothing like 3 eggs, water, and oil with a combination of tools and 30 mins of your time = delicious cupcakes. They were funfetti, which is yellow cake but with the addition of fun!

I baked the cakes, left them to cool, and covered some of them with pink icing. Then I put some of the icing in a plastic baggie and let them swirl at the tops of the cupcake.

Swirly delights!

Little swirls and a creepy swirl smiley on top.

Then, I took it a step further and created what looks like Hello Kitty's bow, with the same baggie technique, this time with white icing combined with unmixed red food dye.

Swirls like candy canes!

After I was satisfied with the swirling and pink cupcakes, I started to move toward Hello Kitty. Combining swirls into the shape of a bow, my goal of Hello Kitty cupcakes was starting to form.

Sweet baby pink.

A black gel icing pen and some artistic inspiration later... and a cake of cupcakes was created! It's no life sized Hello Kitty, but it'll do, for this year at least!

RAWR!!!

It's a Hello Kitty cupcake extravaganza! I love these cakes, so I made collages online of them. Don't judge me. DELICIOUS!

Just living the dream!

Happy Birthday, me! Hope you were able to enjoy the cake photos!

On this day...

I was born in a little hospital in the middle of downtown Atlanta. Some place called Grady? You might have heard of it.

And according to Wikipedia.... some other cool stuff might have happened too....


The only other thing I love doing on this day, is to check my birthday horoscopes. Here they are for your pleasure. They always seem true. Whitney, I know you do this too! We did this two years ago! :)




Why 5 horoscopes? If I only read them once a year, why be stingy about them! Gotta keep my bases covered!


P.S. Thanks Pookie and Allie B for your cards! I got them and love them!

On Jimmy Fallon two nights ago...

ME. I've been hesitant to talk about going to Jimmy Fallon because I wasn't sure whether or not I would look retarded ...... or, if I even got any screen time. I did. Look closely!

About a month ago, I decided to call 30 Rock and talk to a page who could set me up with tickets to Jimmy Fallon. I booked a date, received a confirmation and didn't think about it. Then, I moved to DC and realized that this weekend was coming up. Originally, I was going to go with my cousin, but she was busy, so I asked my friend Kat to go with me. Kat has cats :) I just thought I would say this for no reason than the fact that I think they are beautiful. She also has a beautiful boyfriend, so no worries, I did not ask a cat lady to go with me to see Jimmy Fallon.

Side note aside, the confirmation print out that the show sent me told me to arrive no later than 4:15 at 30 Rock the day of the showing. We arrived at 30 Rock at 4, only to be told that we had to wait until exactly 4:15 to get into another line. We were excited because we thought that we would be able to be seated at 4:15. We arrived at 4:15, a mere 15 mins later to the original time that we had first arrived only to wait in line according to alphabetical order. We turned over our green cards and saw a big W, W is on ahead of XYZ in a line of 26.

So, we were already behind, then we saw a line even behind us, sectioned off... full of really excited people. Kat and I were kind of excited, but kept looking backward to look at the people behind us, who couldn't stop smiling and nudging each other. We wanted to be those people. A cute page walks by and I give him a hard eye. We didn't know what he was picking people out of the line for, but we wanted in. My visual ministrations work, he pulls Kat and I out of the line and offers us a seat on the bandbench. People on the band bench stand behind the band while they perform and cheer like maniacs. I went to UGA, I know how to cheer like a maniac so I agreed readily. Guaranteed screen time? DONE.

So we wait, we sit down, Clive Owen shows up. Disappointingly, I hate to announce to you, my friends, that he did not catch my eye from the stage and eyefuck the shit out of me. Sadly, I report to you, still a virgin of Clive Owen glory.

The band comes on, we look on and climb on these bleachers, standing in the front row. This sounds like a good idea, until I realize, we're in the front row.

This is Living Colour and in the right corner, I'm standing there with my black body suit with Kat. We're stuck in the same place with no knowledge of who Living Colour is, to this point, I still admittedly do not know.

NOW, I DO. If you care, click back there.

Things I learned: Screaming and cheering for more than 20seconds at a time is hard. I have never heard of Living Colour. I like Jimmy Fallon, but he is lame and Clive Owen is not just British hot, but smoldering sex in a well tailored black suit.

New York, New York! for only a day!

Times Square by night with Katie Col10

Because I was only in NYC for a day, I can't tell you that I really did any of my normal things.

On any given trip to NYC, I like to head over to 5th, have a lemonade at Dean and Deluca by 30 Rock, take a small shopping trip right on that corner at the H&M and the Anthro, then head up a few blocks, take a small walk around Central Park. When I get thirsty, instead of spending $3 for a bottle of TRUMP water, I go to the cafe at the Bergdorf's Men's store, and binge drink their free water and instead eat a slight yummy carrot cake for $7.

I like to spend an afternoon at the Met, always reliving the possibility of re-enacting From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Big ups to you if you recognize what I'm talking about. If not.... I'm smarter than you. Then, after I'm museumed out, I jump on the 6, take it to Astor Pl. and walk over to St. Marks, where I binge on yummy Asian goodies.

This time, I did go to St. Marks and do just that. My cravings for okonomiyaki were finally satisfied at Oh Taisho! I also made sure to go to Momofuku Milk Bar again although I didn't get a chance to eat that fried yummy chicken! :( Next time.

The next morning in New York, I like to wake up and go to Chinatown, head down Mott St, round the corner on Pell and eat at Joe's Ginger. An order of xiaolongbao and some Shanghai style fried noodles, and I'm set.

In between all these, I like to stop at Red Mango and Pinkberry; I like both and prefer neither. Some mochi and mango and strawberry topped on top of their tart frozen yogurt hits a spot that was nurtured as a child sitting in humid stuffy condo in Taiwan drinking small bottles of Yakult.

New York to me is an adventure town where I often visit but never live.

On this trip, I arrived in the Upper West Side, spent time with friends before having dinner in Korean town in Midtown. I woke up the next morning and headed over to Defonte's for a hearty half sandwich, then bought a half dozen cookies from Momofuku Milk Bar. After laying my things down, I ventured to 30 Rock to watch a taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, who hosted Clive Owen and Joanna Garcia. Clive Owen IS that hot. and Joanna Garcia has long legs. Afterward, my friend Kat and I ventured down to St. Marks for Oh! Taisho's okonomiyaki before we parted ways (more on JF in another posting!). I headed over to the West Village to watch Gossip Girl in the city that it was filmed, having watched an interview of one of the stars. Then a cab later on the west side highway and I was lying bed, preparing to leave this grand city the next morning.

It's afternoon now and I'm on a bus with free wifi back to DC.

New York Bound!

One can travel to NYC from DC in many forms. Each have their costs and their benefits. Let's examine the ones that I've considered. For me, booking by plane isn't so much an expense, as long as the time is shorter, and it definitely is. The flight from Ronald Reagan National Airport to La Guardia is 35 mins, with the addition of having to circle above NYC for 30 extra mins, puts you at about a total travel time of one hour.

But, once you add that it takes me about an hour to get to the airport, another 10 mins to arrive before boarding, boarding 30 mins before the flight leaves... you've already added another 100 mins to the fray. THEN, you add the fact that LGA isn't my final destination, I have to get on another bus before I arrive anywhere in the city - which is generously another hour's travel time.

So, when I add it all up, from my house which is outside DC to my friend's apt in Manhattan - it is a total of 60+100+60 = 220 mins = 3h40mins - using a combination of metro, plane and bus to get to my final destination in the Upper West Side.

Well... that's how things normally are, if they all run smoothly. In my case on Sunday, this definitely didn't happen. I departed from my house at noon, only to be stranded midway at the metro in Chinatown at 1:10 pm. With a 2:30 flight, I should have had plenty of time to arrive at the airport and grab lunch before boarding. After what seemed like waiting for 10 mins for the Yellow line to Reagan, 3x over, I realized that it actually had been 30 mins! Finally, an announcement comes over the intercom, there is fire and smoke sighted at the Reagan metro, expect further delays. I look up and there's still 8 mins before another YL line train is even due to arrive. No trains are going to Reagan at 1:10. I sit down next to a good looking young guy with a nicely defined jaw line and a willingness to catch my eye and hold it.

Another announcement comes over the intercom, it's that ubiquitous voice again. All the yellow and blue line trains that normally go to the airport and being asked to turn back - I look at my watch and back at the clock, the 8 mins haven't changed and at this point I have to decide if I even want to go to NYC at all. I relent, leaving my seat next to the cute young man that I perhaps could have commiserated with...

I call my aunt and get on the red line metro back toward Shady Grove. Another hour later, I arrive in Rockville where my amazing aunt has generously volunteered to take me to the airport. I arrive at National at 2:45, 15 mins after my scheduled flight, but that's fine because there's a flight to LGA every hour on the half hour. I just book myself for the next flight and pass through security. The plane leaves at 3:30 and we arrive promptly at 4:35. A ride on the M60 into Manhattan later, and I'm sitting at my friends apartment on Columbus Ave and 97th by 5:30. All in all, total transport time of - 5h30mins.

Hectic! to say the least, but hey. I had arrived.

Reminder! Fekkai Shampoo Swap

To all my friends,

According to the Frederic Fekkai people, on September 17th, there's a shampoo trade-in occurring at Saks, where you bring in a full sized bottle of whatever you're using, it can be empty to be traded-in for a free new bottle of Fekkai's new Advanced Shampoo line.

It's only tomorrow, so if you have time, drop by!

Taken from their doc, which says the same thing:

The Fekkai Shampoo Swap - September 17, 2009

Receive a COMPLIMENTARY bottle of Fekkai Advanced Shampoo. Exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue - Thursday September 17th, for one day only.
Visit Saks Fifth Avenue for its first ever Shampoo Swap. Bring any full sized shampoo you currently use (shampoo bottle can be full or empty) and exchange it for one full sized complimentary bottle of Fekkai Advanced shampoo of your choice ($23 value). One per customer, please. While supplies last. In-store only.

Participating Saks Locations - Store hours may vary for each location. Please check directly with the store for details.

5 Limericks I wrote on the Metro

I wrote these on my way to a job interview today, you might enjoy them:

There once was a girl named Christine,
whose CV and resume were pristine,
interviews she went,
time and money she spent,
only to look for more listings.

There once was a girl named Christine,
who moved to Washington, DC
on the metro, she sat,
nary an eyelash did she bat,
when the man next to her smelled obscene.

There once was a girl named Christine,
who took chances, risking,
without a backward glance,
moved to her aunt's,
and thus began her trysting.

There once was a girl named Christine,
smiling, her head tilted, thinking,
hands clasped behind her back,
she smiled at the sap,
who thought he would win at drinking.

There once was a girl named Christine,
qualified she was, always thinking,
so give her a job
she'll thank you and sob
for she's tired of looking at computer screens.

who else did you think they would be about?

What's cuter than 1 rubber duck? How about 200k of them?

Those baby blue things are ducks!

Gossip Girl is rather beautiful

As I was scanning screenshots of last night's GG, I came upon this shot.

Serena and Carter Baizen are kissing in some deserted glade after she's ridden off on Nacho's horse. Instead of starting the Vanderbilt's polo match, she's decided to make a run for it, a la Runaway Bride style and Carter Baizen in all his shameless glory has come after her. He's caught up with her and here, Serena can no longer deny her lust for Carter. [Why would she?]

Cheesy and delicious, all at the same time. What is GG, if not indulgent pleasure?

Carter Baizen > Chuck Bass

Gossip Girl is back and needless to say, I'm hooked. Especially with Carter Baizen returning, I have to say, I love the way this man wears his pants.

I took some screen shots from last nights episode, and truly, I cannot find a single flaw in this man. Move over Chuck Bass, Carter Baizen has your same initials and twice the hotness.

DEAR RETAIL JOBS

Why won't you hire me, due to inexperience with retail, but you will hire a 14 year old, who has no experience with retail AND life? FML

Response to Kylie

I hate to say that I'm still looking at these youtube videos of Kylie, but the truth is, I am.

SO, it's so disappointing to me that Kylie is not cute comparitively anymore. I mean, if I had not seen a previously whiter, chubbier chubbs, maybe I would like this tanner, leaner baby, but nooo. This is a private sadness between me and Asian babies everywhere. It's simply an accepted fact, when you grow, you grow less cute. :(

Snappy! and Reponkislive!

All good things must come to an end... especially as a previously cute baby becomes a less cute, older, tanner baby.

Kylie: in what seems like two years later!!



Somehow, Microsoft overdosed on good things. Two many good things: cute Asian baby, Europe's Final Countdown, the color pink, the number 7 = BAD. or at least in this case, just not as cute.

For the original commercial, click here!

A running list of funny things that have happened to me lately

1. I saw a guy that I knew in Atlanta, who I went to the Carter Center Christmas party with.... in DC, on the metro, on my train at midnight on a Saturday night. Apparently we both live here now.

2. I have just moved to MD and the guy who works the late shift at Target already recognizes me.

Me last night checking out: Silence.
Cashier: Weren't you here last night, two nights ago?
Me: Pause. Yes.
Me (inside): SCREAMING- OH MY GOD.

3. My cousin was laughing hahaha, when we pulled up behind a car that had the plates HAHAHA.

4. As I was leaving to meet my friend for dinner, I opened the front door to exit just as my cousin was walking in = in the dark. I nearly passed out, then I screamed.

5. I bought some cheap ass panties in my efforts not to do laundry, and because it was late night at Target and I was bored. I bought the cheapest ones, which were on clearance. It turns out, when I opened them that they had been replaced with bigger, uglier, granny panties. AH! I've yet to return them, but I'm not sure what I can even tell them.

6. My aunt asked me if my laundry basket wasn't more suited for kittens or perhaps puppies.

I posted this picture because who doesn't like a cute baby?

09!09!09!

I love the repetition! Nine nine, oh nine! If I were good, I would wait until 09:09p on 09.09.09 to post.. but.... I'm a nerd for even thinking of it!

I've always loved the month of September because simply, it's a good month! Good things happen this month, namely, my birthday and the birthdays of many of my friends! Sadly, this year, I will not be in the same town as Stepperoo so I don't know I will be cutting into Hello Kitty this year.

Cake 1

Cake 2!

It's delicious slaughter!

9.24 - I cannot wait!

Name Yourself

If you could re-name yourself, what would it be? Names each hold their own connotations - some trashy, some classy, others just plain....fat. I don't know why I believe these things, some of obvious, some have to do with the people that I know, and what I associate with those names, but others... completely created from my imagination. These have nothing to do with the meanings of names that you can find with a quick web search, these are just pure synesthesia.

For example: Louise to me is not a pretty name. Worse would be Louisa - who I associate to Louisa May Alcott, who wrote Little Women. Louisa/Louise to me represents a fat lonely spinster.

Being able to name yourself is also a strange step. People are born with one name, it's interesting to see what people come up with when they create their own. Many times, their new names are linked with their actual personas. Think Portia di Rossi, whose real name is Amanda Lee Rogers. Who sounds hotter?

What I find most amusing, are Chinese people who name themselves. See, with people who do not have English as their first language, they are not hindered by only choosing names as names. Why not choose animals as names? or even create your identity as one half of a pair, for example - if you have a best friend - why not name yourself Peaches, and your friend? Cream, of course.

Watch this clip from Sexy Beijing. Make sure you watch to the end and meet Samantha.



A girl from the States goes around Beijing interviewing people their thoughts. This is her website. I think she has pretty interesting observations and she has a gift for catching people in China on video. From my experience, people in China are often loathe to be caught on video because they do not like the idea of being caught in perpetuity.... although they don't seem to have any problem with being in pictures with foreigners........ BAH. That's another article all-together.

If I could name myself, it would be Autumn.

Christine's Fall TV Watch List

I created a list of to watch tv shows and when they premiere and I thought I should share. I fully admit that I watch entirely too much televee but I can't help it. Feel free to make fun of me for what I enjoy but I love what I love and I'm not sorry. Obvi, many of these shows are at the same time and all I can say is TGFH - Thank God for Hulu!

Here we go:

ABC
Castle - Monday, Sept 21, 10.01p

FOX
*Fringe - Thursday, Sept 17, 9p
*Glee - Wednesday, Sept 9, 9p
Lie to Me - Monday, Sept 28, 9p
Dollhouse - Friday, Sept 25, 9p

NBC
Community - Thursday, Sept 17, 9.30p
30 Rock - Thursday, Oct 15, 9.30p
Heroes - Monday, Sept 21, 8p

CBS


*How I Met Your Mother - Monday, Sept 21, 8p

CW
*Gossip Girl - Monday, Sept 14, 9p

FX
*It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Thursday, Sept 17, 10p

I also can't help but love USA shows - Psych and Monk (Fridays) which are already on along with rando episodes of Project Runway (Thurs@10) on Lifetime and Top Chef: Las Vegas (Wed@9) on Bravo... oh and Bourdain (Mon@10) on Travel.

*Shows that I will need to watch day-of. The rest, I save for hulu.com, Sunday binge-watching.

Why not honeymoon forever?

In honor of all of my friends that have gotten married in the past few years and for all those kids that plan on getting married in the near future, I have an idea I have been reluctant to share, but feel compelled to do so.



Immediately after you get married, don't you try and tell every customer service representative that you encounter that it is your honeymoon?

Airline counter: It's our honeymoon.

Gate agent: It's our honeymoon.

Hotel check-in: It's our honeymoon.

Restaurant hostess: It's our honeymoon.

Concierge anywhere: It's our honeymoon.

...and when you do, sometimes there are perks. My question is, why use that only once? Obvi, any vacation you take should be met with a "It's our honeymoon." Why not? Many a person that I've met have not taken their honeymoon immediately post-wedding. Why not use it, say... 3 years, 2 months and 1 day, post-wedding? or... 5 years, 4 months, and 3 days, post-wedding?

What an amazing way to put yourself in the honeymood by announcing to the world that it's your honeymoon? Why shouldn't it be?

My Local Wal-Mart: Cruel to Children

First and foremost, I want to tell you that this is DEFINITELY THE WAL-MART by my house. This is the Wal-mart that I've gone to in the middle of the night since high school and that I go to when I'm bored.

According to CNN via Dlisted, a man allegedly slapped a toddler at Wal-mart because she wouldn't stop crying.

I don't want to get this wrong, so I'm going to quote this man exactly: "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you."

THIS IS INCREDIBLE. How many times have I encountered a crying baby that I've really wanted to discipline myself? Put the hurt on and teach them a lesson! RAWR!

After this strict, disciplinarian warning, he allegedly grabbed the girl and slapped her 4 or 5 times in
the face. Following this awesome act of excessive violence, "See, I told you I would shut her up."

If you look on the bottom of this photo, this is my county of original residence! (I now live in DC!) I love that Mr. Stephens, a man of Gwinnett County, has acted on his primal desires in beating up on another person's kid. Baby knows not to act out anymore. (Correct use of baby.)

And speaking of Wal-mart, have you seen www.peopleofwalmart.com? Definitely awesomely bad.

Boondock Saints Sequel actually coming out

As a freshman in college, I recall watching from beneath a loft a movie called, Boondock Saints. Excessive amounts of violence combined with religious fervor = a movie that I watched with Nick about 30 times while drinking Jack Daniels and Coke. OH, to be a frosh again.

There's been heresay as to whether or not a sequel would ever happen. Almost 6 years ago, I would have been excited to see the sequel immediately after a movie night of the $10 Boondock Saints.

Now I know that a sequel has actually been made and this is the red line trailer. It'll be out on Oct 30 and I'm ambivalent on whether or not I'll actually watch, but here, you can decide.



P.S. If you like Boondock Saints, you might like Suicide Kings.

Terms of Endearment: A Critique

In the history of its uses for me, terms of endearment have come and gone. I admit, I've used darling in the recent past, as well as baby, for the occasional man.

Now, my issues with terms of endearment come when girls call other girls excessive terms of endearment. Including but not limited to: baby, babe, sweetie, honey, sweetheart, hun, all in one conversation. When I receive these endearments, instead of feeling closer to the person - I feel slightly dirty, cheap and way awkward.

There are only 2 real occasions for using the term baby, other than referring to an infant. One is sassy, like.. "NO one puts baby in a corner" or "Baby didn't know who she was talking to". The other is more condescending like.. "Ooo, baby, I'm sorry you didn't know any better." The acceptable use of baby is of course, when talking about your significant other, who you're probably sleeping with. If you sleep in the same bed, baby is fine.

The term sweetheart, when not used sincerely, such as: "What a sweetheart for ordering me that Edible Arrangement!", can normally be replaced with the word, BITCH. For example, "Sweetheart...what do you think you're doing?" - replace sweetheart with bitch, and you get what the person is really trying to say, which is "Bitch, wtf do you think you're doing?"

As for the other terms, honey, sweetie, babe - those can be used sometimes but the problem is the over-usage. An occasional, "What's wrong, sweetie?" is always appreciated, but when overused, it's just plain creepy. I stopped using babe in middle school, but perhaps that was just a personal preference. I've heard it used before satisfactorily.

Terms of endearment should be used in cases of warm comfort and a heightened sense of feeling close to your close friend, but constant use - my blog is here to warn you against just that. Please calm that shit down. I cannot handle being called several terms of endearment at once because it frankly freaks me out.

Thanks, my dear. I appreciate your time.

Terms of Endearment

What are your thoughts on terms of endearment among girls? Girl on girl endearment? I will tell you my thoughts in the morning.