OH, Hello Blog!

OH. Hey ya'll.

Is this my blog? My goodness. It must be... and I've logged on for the first time in more than a month. Let's not look back. It's been summer. You've been at the beach. I've been working to train 110 teachers to work in rural China!

New things to come:

The Smelly Shoes Rule

100% USA Peas as a product of Thailand? YES, PLEASE.

Reasons why my job is so cool

As a side note, I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks. I fear I may smell.... and I cut my hair. I'm not sure I like it yet but this is what I look like now.

Day of. It doesn't look like this now but... here's a taste. 

I think I came away the winner - for 20 kuai ~ 3 USD, I sat at the salon for over 2 hours and really, let's not lie, the only experience that the man who cut my hair had is with Chinese girl hair! It's so fringe-y! When in China.......

Spring photo blur

Fun was had this semester! Every weekend, we found something rewarding to undertake whether it be with our students or sometimes, with each other. These are a few of the happenings that occurred since March of this year. I won't go into too much depth with these events, but I've been bad about blogging about them and I don't want to forget how much fun we had. 

Graffiti party for Lucas's 24th birthday

Nerds vs. Robots

Toga party

Post brewery tour kickball

The weekend where we played with too many birds

How we eat cake at Angelica's farewell party

Easter when John Kuo and I hang out together

God must have spent a little more time on you

About this time is the one year mark of me in China - and oddly I'm in Detroit. But that's neither here nor there. 

This year has been an incredible one - never in my imagination could I have predicted the ups and downs that we would share. The trouble that we would get in, the fun we would have and the memories that I'll cherish forever. I've not been as good about keeping track of everything online as I would like, but I do know that these four beautiful ladies have been my best (lady) friends this year. 

Phoebe, who I introduced to this blog last August as my post mate has been so much more! Not only has our hair gotten longer but our friendship is strangely close. I won't bother to explain but I will say that Phoebe loves the N'Sync song, God must have spent..... you know the deal - but surprisingly, she did not. She did not know that she was an N'Sync fan until this year on our mountain on Shaojie. Now, I've come to expect lyrics from that song at any given moment. ... and she's a great singer.

Actually, she's not but Rachel is. Rachel. Rachel. We met on the first day of coming to China - on the day that we all arrived in Kunming and it was Rachel's 21st birthday. My littlest babe and the person that I've probably racked up the most minutes on the phone with. I knew not to call on Monday but other than that - it was all fair game. I'll try to ride your bike at some point. 

Zu loves to ride bikes and is my Southern belle in crime. After spending New Year's day with Laura, I realized that this lady and I are cut from the same cloth. Yay for being dirty, sketchy, and really good at dancing (just you!). It's just too bad that I can do splits and you couldn't to get to the next level in gymnastics when you were 8. 

That leaves Monica. I've obviously not gone in order.... Monica, who I actually saw back in America - Monica who loves Taiwan and knows of the true awesomeness that Taiwan has and understands how awesome life will be when we have enough money to go to Taipei and just go crazy with bountiful amounts of delicious foodies! My love for Mo knows no boundaries. Literally. You can ask her. Apparently there's a line and I like to straddle it - and by it, I mean Monica. MWAHAHA. 

See you ladies soon, some sooner than later. This year in China with you has been marvelous, wonderful, and ridiculous. I'm confident in the good times that we're sure to have in the coming years.

Lindsey Parker is no longer my wife!

I'm on my sixth hour of my layover and my twelfth hour of being awake. I woke up at 4 am this morning so that I could catch the 7:25 am flight to Detroit from Atlanta, so that I can be in Detroit for my flight to Beijing at 9:25 pm. Yes. That's right, I said PM. Then, I'm on a plane for virtually 14 hours and I lose an additional 12 hours due to time difference and I arrive in Beijing at 11 pm on Monday. Then, I'm going to hang out at the Beijing Terminal 3 for about 6 hours and get on a plane to Kunming. My flight leaves at 7 with a layover for an hour - then I should arrive in Kunming by noon, and hopefully get on a fast bus by 2. Eight to nine hours later, I should be in Lincang. On Tuesday. So, by Tuesday at 10 pm, I should be closer to a bed than ever before. I feel like it's imminently within my grasp.

So.. before I leave the glorious country that is America, I thought I should probably share with you the original purpose of my coming back so briefly. My wife of almost 7 years on Facebook, Lindsey Parker got married. It started as a joke freshman year in college - ha. ha. two girls married on Facebook that actually like boys - that never ended until this year when Lindsey called me three times in a row, sending me into a panic until I realized that it could only be good news.

Lindsey was getting married and I would be going at any cost. 

Us, the summer before senior year in college in 2007, at the opening of H&M in Atlanta

Lindsey and I have been friends since middle school - better friends in high school, and best friends in college. We roomed together our senior year and it was the best year ever! So when my best friend calls me to tell me she's getting married to the boy that we've been waiting to propose to her for the past 5 years,  I ask - when is the wedding - and start making arrangements. Her wedding on July 9 meant that I was going to be leaving my Chinese class early, and flying a week before the end of school back to America. Meanwhile, I got a promotion at Teach for China and would need to be attending the Summer Institute Training - so I would need to go back to China soon after I returned to America. 

AHHH.

First things first, I bused from Shaojie to Yunxian, Yunxian to Lincang - then flew from Lincang to Kunming, Kunming to Beijing, Beijing to Detroit and Detroit to Atlanta. Then, I went home, freaked out when the bridesmaid dress DIDN'T FIT - spent the following day in alterations and flew to Charleston later that same night. 

Patrick, my amazing date and friend from college picked me up from the airport and kindly deposited me in a French cafe the next morning so that I could easily meet up with Linds. 

Hands and toes done and $50 later - our nails were done and I thought I was  ready for the wedding. There was a rehearsal dinner, plus a little down time where I got to hang out with Margaret, say mean things to her friends in my hazy exhaustion, and wake up on the beach. 

The beach was beautiful, so were these men. Yes, I'm a stalker. Then, I met up with Alex Connors, who I hadn't seen since 2007.

We look the same. 

After a quick meal, I ran over to the hotel where Lindsey was getting ready and did my own hair. Lindsey was so calm and I was freaking out partially out from her peace. I kept saying that I would be done with my hair any second, but really, there was no rush - I had over 2 hours to do something that normally took no more than 10 mins. But soon, the wedding was here! Lindsey's wedding was at Magnolia Plantation - everything was green and beautiful.

Here are some highlights: 

Date!

 

Bridesmaids!

The wedding party

As you can see, Lindsey had 5 bridesmaids. Two sisters, Susan and Katie, and two girls from school, me and Sydney and then another girl who she's also really good friends with - Leah. All of the groomsmen were married or otherwise involved. No wedding romances here! Our dresses were hunter green which brought out the brightness of the flowers splendidly. Everything worked out in the end and Patrick and I ushered Lindsey and Matt at the end of the night with sparklers. 

The end of the night culminated fantastically when one of the Lindsey's family members came up to Patrick and me to remark on our dancing: 

Her to Patrick: Can I just tell you, I've been admiring your dancing this entire night.

Her to me: ... and my husband has been admiring your dancing.

To Patrick: Tell me, how do you keep it so contained?

Oh the power of the Southern accent. No matter how many times I say it, it still sounds creepy but somehow when she said it - it sounded nothing but courteous and complimentary! Needless to say, you can bet money that we kept it classy, contained and were stars on the dance floor. 

Lindsey Pooks! Even though you're an Albertson now, you'll always be my Pooks!!

Now, it's a week later and I'm back at the airport and on my way back to China. I've eaten innumerable delicious coma-inducing Mexican meals that I'll not soon forget. 'Til 2012, America - I'll miss you!!!

Teach for China!

I actually don't think I say it enough, nor have I said it officially ever, but I work for Teach for China. It used to be called China Education Initiative, and it's still that, but now, as Teach for China, more people understand what we do - it's a movement to solve education inequity in rural China - which makes it that much more awesome. Teach for China is teaching in only rural China - I've told you many times, and I'll tell you again, I don't teach from a swank air conditioned building to kids who are dropped off from cars - I teach in a cement building with only a chalkboard and 54 kids staring at me who don't even speak Mandarin, who expect me to teach them English, given that I speak Mandarin and English.... It's not easy. Since coming home, I've realized that what I do is a feat in itself. There's no cable, I am not Chinese, there's no McDonald's, any TV at all or even a post office. 

It's as, all of my best friend's friends and family who are all teachers (her mom is a teacher, her aunt is teacher, her mom's friends are teachers, Lindsey is a teacher herself, Lindsey's friends are teachers, I subsitute taught... look in Georgia, I love teachers!) have said, A. LOT. OF. KIDS. .. and they ask - so you have no one to help you? 

I laugh and shake my head. I recently went to the School Box and bought $70 worth of school supplies that mostly consist of laminated posters and stickers so that this coming year, my classroom of 50+ kids will know exactly what I expect, the second they enter my class. I look forward to next year, which is actually in about 6 weeks!

But yes, Teach for China! If I met you in Charleston last weekend - this is where I work!

Yes, returns are possible.

I've been home for a week and I've already bought tickets back to Lincang. Lincang, which is the  biggest city with an airport to Kunming in Yunnan. I've actually only bought tix to Kunming from Beijing, which were CRAZY EXPENSIVE. Dear China, what up. I have to spend this month's salary just getting back to the place where I will work. Boo. 


Here's my itinerary: Monday - leave from Atlanta to Detroit, Detroit to Beijing, stay in Beijing for less than 6 hours, then check in for my flight to Kunming, fly to Kunming by the 19th, and be in Lincang, by the 19th, which is Wednesday. 


It is Tuesday, tomorrow will mark the first day of my return to the world of Starbucks and bountiful plenty. 

DID I MENTION MY BEST FRIEND GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND? This is us. 

Hello, America. I'm back.

Yes, I'm in Atlanta right now. Tonight I"m going to Charleston until Sunday and then I'm back for a week. Play with me. I miss you.

We're DONE

I'm a bit early. But this is the last photo that I'm taking with my 7th graders today.

This year has been a fun bratty year! I love this kids!

Ultimate Fail

A lot of you may not know this and may be shocked to hear this but... I do not own a single Apple product. No iPod, no Shuffle, no iPad. In fact, I was thinking about buying my first iPad or iPod touch this summer.... in looking into it, I was going to see if I could trade in my current mp3 player for a store credit before purchasing my new Apple product...

But as you can see by the title of this blog, perhaps NOT. Dear pickpockets of China, heed this post and don't steal my worthless 6 year old Creative Zen from me. Thanks. My headphones are worth more. 

Lazy Tuesdays

Shaojie is stupid beautiful. 

Gauche hillbilly tourists at Starbucks

Much to my surprise, there is one Starbucks in the Sanlitun style development in Kunming, called Wangfujing. Phoebe and I didn't mean to go, but then our cab stopped RIGHT in front of the block, and I suggested we just walk by, since smells are free after all.  

We stood in line - and then I whipped out my camera. Since we were already in line... we decided to bite the bullet and spend 30 RMB (go venti or go home) for an American caffeine dream. 

xo caffeine - I love you. 

Hotel lobby or....

Papa John's in Kunming? 

Phoebe and I feasted here like little piglets over a 9" stuffed crust Supreme. NOM. 

A Salve for my Sole

I had a three day weekend last weekend to celebrate the Dragon Boat racing festival - instead going to my usual haunts in Dali, I decided to take an adventure to Kunming. 

Over the course of 3 days, I accidentally bought nine pairs of shoes. Here they are. Pardon the shoe pun! 

*I didn't mean to! I bought two pairs in one sitting, then... another pair that I wanted to buy the first night - that's how you know you want it when you think about it the next day. Then, I bought six more pairs on Sunday. 

Oops :) I'm glad that I did. 

The Brewmaster and his Mistress

No, this isn't a romance novel that I'm reading, although I have to admit it sounds really quite exciting. On Sunday, while Ken and I were hanging out before I went back to town, a gentlemen at a nearby table ordered us a beer. I cringed, it was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I was on my way home. We look over to discover that the man that ordered us a beer was a Chinese man who had the ability to speak English in complete sentences. His pronunciation wasn't the best, but the only other man in town that could speak English well was a man who used to be a migrant worker in Abu Dhabi... I'd really like to interview him at some point.

Right, so , this man had a crisp white business shirt on, nice glasses and he ordered Ken and me a beer. Nice man – it turns out – he introduced himself as the Brewmaster. Insidious? Not at all, yet. When he opened his mouth, I saw three rotting front teeth of his mouth and realized the poorness of Chinese dentistry. Is America the only country obsessed with dental work?

The Brewmaster of what you ask, and why do I keep capitalizing the B? Because I've deemed its importance and I make the rules on this blog and in my classroom – rawr. Not related, sorry -  A lot of the comments on this post will be otherwise unrelated. The Brewmaster is the brewmaster for the only beer that we can drink in town, Lancang Jiang. It's palpable when it's cold but when it's not, it's rather disgusting. I doled compliments on his work and departed on my way.

This was the last I would see of the Brewmaster… until Tuesday. How kismet! Unfortunately, I had come into town on the afternoon bus and was planning on staying at the County seat overnight so that I could run copies of a test for my students and enjoy 50% off steaks at the No. 1 Steakhouse in Yunxian/ the only steak house in Yunxian. We at TFC patron this place a lot so I know that I could sit there alone for hours on end and not be disturbed. Well, this is true no more. As I was eating my steak et steak frites, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bulky body of the Brewmaster. I kept my eyes tightly fastened to that of my Kindle, the book that I was reading suddenly a phenomenon that I had never seen before. He circled me a few times before he caught my attention. "Hello, do you remember me?" Imagine this is said in super bootleg broke ass English. I nodded politely. He kept speaking English, I responded to him in Chinese as a way to combat his poor pronunciation. Normally, if you lead by example, he will sooner or later start to also speak the Chinese.

"Can I sit down?" So begins the adventure. He started by talking about his daughter who had just gone to NYC for a Model UN conference. He was from Qingdao and was working at the Lancang jiang beer plant. He had worked in France for Dannon and in England in a brewery. He appeared to be an overly intelligent man and therefore I assumed that he'd be able to understand English brilliantly. I finished my  meal within two bites of the conversation and couldn't find a way to extricate myself. I would wait until his food arrived, I told myself.

His food never arrived. He never ordered food and he was rude to the wait staff. I think it partially has to do with the fact that he's from the North but also because it seems like having the manager and the wait staff hate you was a point of pride for him.

I waited another spurt of times before I started to crack. I had no idea what time it was but I was tired of making small talk, I wasn't having fun and I didn't want to be there anymore. I pulled out my cell phone and made an emergency text. Ken, John Kuo, Tom and Lucas all received texts from me – They needed to call me immediately, I needed to get out of where I was immediately.

Tom answered my SOS immediately. Unfortunately, the Brewmaster at this point decided that he needed to excuse himself to go to the little boy's room. AHHHHHHHHH. Tom's call was in vain and not only that but the Brewmaster came back to tell him that he had invited his friend over and they were coming soon.

I laughed, taking it in stride on the outside, but freaking out on the inside. Another man like the Brewmaster? HELP. I waited for thirty more minutes before another kind sir helped me. Lucas.

Lucas: Hey

Christine: Hi! Are you in town?

L: No, I'm at school.

C: Great! I'm going to come see you in 30 mins.

L: You're going to come to Maolan in 30 mins.

C: No, silly. I'll call you.

L:….okay.

C: See you in 30 mins!

Lucas hangs up clearly very confused, and I hang up, cheerfully before looking up to my present company.

The Brewmaster and his friend; I was mistaken, He had invited his mistress to dinner. Why did I assume that this girl was his mistress? First of all, he's mid 40s, early 50s and near the top of the brewery. This "co-worker" of his was clearly a girl younger than me, who worked in quality control at the Baijiu bottling plant. The two never should interact with one another and clearly would not if they were not having an affair. She's a local and he doesn't even understand what she's saying most of the time. Upon the arrival of his mistress, he ordered way too much food including a ball of icecream for me that forced me to stay even longer. I looked at the clock ticking away – 30 mins had almost arrived.

Isn't this great, the Brewmaster said to me. The next time you come into town, you should tell me and the three of us should continue to hang out together. He seemed very confident in his plans for fun. What. The. Fuck. I mentioned to him that I might like to invite other friends, but he casually pushed that away. He truly wanted to only hang out – me, mistress and himself. This, I couldn't fathom. He was enjoying flaunting his English prowess to a girl that couldn't even properly speak Chinese. Disgusting.

 I had arrived at the Steakhouse at 6:30 and it was almost 9 when I left.

During this time, I managed to wrangle a carte blanche invitation to the Lancang Brewery that I hope to actually go to next weekend. This means that I will have to call this sleazoid but at least I wouldn't have to go at it alone.  Two and a half hours, almost well spent. I went home, finished watching Gnomeo and Juliet and great enjoyed the rest of my evening lying under air conditioning, alone. 

Another edition of: my kids are so poor that...

They play with giant beetles. 

Today, on my way to lunch, I passed three of my kids playing with a dark something in their hands. I stopped to pass them and was horrified at what I saw. In Chandler's hand was a giant beetle. Big. Really big!

And, across the thorax was a red X that was actually a red string that they had tied around the beetle to distinguish it from its friend. I asked them what they did with all the beetles, Fred responded, "We make them snatch things."

Horrifying. Every prank made by children in movies came to my mind as I realized that I had to pass them. As I walked passed them, I feared that they would drop the beetle down my shirt. 

Dear children, one day, I hope you get toys soon.

Love,

Christine

Engrish in China

BIG SURPRISE. Engrish exists in China. These shirts were harder to find than I thought. So we bought three of them. 

What does this moon?!

There's a bunny on the bus!

Lately, whenever Phoebe and I try to leave town, we have to wait a requisite 30 to 40 mins before the bus even starts. Most of the time, we read, we talk, and we mutually groan about the lack of timeliness of the Chinese bus system. This day, I think it was two weeks ago, we were waiting and as we were walking down the hill and I noticed a first grader following us. Somehow, her face always reminds me of a bunny and she is an unabashed starer as well.

A bunny starer. So, Bunny, as I like to call her, she was stealthily following us down the hill from our house, through town, around the corner to the bus and finally, she stood on the narrow platform peeking in on Phoebe and I as we sat, waiting for the bus to start.

When I made eye contact with her, she started to giggle, soon enough she gained enough courage to play peek-a-boo with me from outside of the bus. Laughing, she ran to the other side of the bus and Phoebe and I watched as she waved to us. In a moment that is so good that it has to be true, Bunny ran out of our line of vision and then returned with a large sheet of lettuce. A Bunny with lettuce!!! She waved it at us like a fan and laughed, running around the path. 

Hilarious. Somehow she lost the the lettuce, sat in another villager's house, watched TV for about 15 mins before she got even more guts to get on the bus, where I pulled out my camera and started taking pictures of her. 

Bunny and I are friends now. Right before the bus started, she had been sitting in the seat behind Phoebe and me, poking me through the crack between the seats.  When she got off, she waved good bye :) I love bunnies and Bunny!

Nutrition is No. 1 in rural China!

I just ate a huge bowl of Jell-O Instant Chocolate Fudge pudding and a can of tonic water for dinner. Am I a hobo?

It was so delicious!!!! My teeth feel like they may fall out of my mouth from over sugar stimulation. I am very afraid of the sugar crash that is coming soon.

Days alone in Shaojie: 3. AHHHH YUMMY.

When Tom grows a mustache...

and puts on aviator sunglasses and it's the middle of the night and we have nothing better to do - it's awesome!

Dear Mosquitoes

I hate you and I hate you for having more discretion in the places you bite. Face should be off limits. C'mon!