Thanks to IKEA, both Chris and Wilma can hang(out) all the time!

A recent trip to IKEA reminded me of a few things that I forgot about this store. IKEA is full of double standards, stupid sometimes unpronounceable Swedish names, directions with no words that often don’t tell you enough, and plenty of things you will buy that you do not need. A beautiful Saturday led too many people getting outside of their house, into the warehouse that is IKEA, add the dollar soft serve, and what you have is a recipe for TOO MUCH FUN (such a thing does exist!)

Let me start with the double standard. There are two reasons to go to Ikea, when you need to buy something at Ikea and then do not want to admit to having gone there, or, when you really don’t need to go to Ikea, go there anyway, and leave cursing Ikea for having so many useless eye-catching things that you’ve placed in your yellow bag and somehow walked all the way to the register. The only people that intentionally admit to buying things from Ikea are college students and poor 20-somethings. If you make a decent salary, the purpose of your Ikea trip is to find something can pass for Pottery Barn or West Elm. You want to somehow recreate that look you found at Anthropologie, without the price.

Where is that standard? Is Target better than Ikea? What about all those celebrities that design for Target, this makes it classier than Ikea – sometimes cheaper too! The home organizers that are at Ikea look exactly like the ones at the Container Store, except about a few hundo dollars cheaper. Yes! Cheaper, but not cheap. Ikea home organizers will still cost about $1k. Ikea looks pretty classy to me. All those rounded edges, those asymmetrical lines, the almost-opaque plastics…..maybe it’s because I’m a poor 20-something that can freely admit to buying stuff here.

Ikea makes it hard to call the things I’ve purchased by name. Their stupid Swedish names let me over-personify my items bought from Ikea. Meet Antonius, my wire organizer. Chris, my corkboard. Wilma, my curtains. Let’s not forget Vagen, the curtain rod set who I had to buy instead of Irja, who was unavailable at the time. I own 3 Nots, the 7.99 floor lamp that brings light to any room. A friend and I had a hard time looking at Victor because of the people standing in front of him.

…And who could forget Ikea man? The annoying man who gives you directions on how to put things together, then suggests that you call the Ikea hotline.

Thanks goodness for the $1 soft serve right past checkout, because after I've chosen and paid for my purchases, a little love in the mouth is just what the doctor ordered.