LATFH: Glasses

Look at those fucking hipster glasses!

 

This weekend I brought my readers to the party. They were definitely the party glasses of the night. This is a collage of all the people wearing them that I could find in my pictures. This is proof that tortoise shell readers – aka – glasses with no real lenses look good on everyone!  

 

 

The 8 PM rule

Due to my hate of night peeing, AKA, switching on my light, opening my creaky barn padlocked barn door, walking out into the fog, down the stairs, reaching for the pulley light, slipping on the moss cement floor, walking past the weeds, past the (SMELLY) pig pen and the chicken coop, opening the door that sticks, and peeing into a slot that may or may not have huge active scary maggots emerging......... I NO LONGER DRINK WATER AFTER 8 pm. 

Imagine this path, but at night. 

Do it for the kids....

This is how I feel now, without you, and without reminders of you! Want to put a smile on my face, here's how!

For so long, I've heard that people like me, some would even say, LOVE me. If you don't love me, you've at least professed to liking this blog.....

I'm asking you to prove it. This is a formal plea for you to send me stuff. Anything. But if you were thinking about what sort of things you could send - here are a few suggestions.

• pesto, at this point, I'd take the powder. siiiiiiiiiigh
• cheezits (white cheddar!!)
• luna bars - lemon zest, white chocolate macadamia
• soyjoy mango coconut bars
• febreeze spray and odor eating candle
• tuna 
• ranch dressing (do i even need to say hidden valley)
• a chickfila sauce sampler - go to chickfila, ask for one of each sauce, put it in a small box and post! (SO EASY!)
• english breakfast tea bags
• annie's cheddar mac 
• omg special k with almondsssss!!!! 
• bisquick (just add water)
• jello instant pudding, flavor sampler.. i don't know which one, buy them all?
• ... firefly - please. Actually, this is illegal, but if you put it in a Tom's mouthwash bottle, I won't tell if you don't!
• swiss miss with marshmallows
• love letters from you
• romance novels, anything with a busty lady on the cover set in Victorian times, you know what I like! ;)
• bobby pins
• THICK CHRISTMAS SOCKS
• those delicious hanes sweatshirts from target that $7, in whatever color of your choosing
• fake uggs
• gloves
• a mix CD of songs that have been overplayed on the radio in the past month  (this would be awesome!)

Admittedly, this is a rather long list, but it does take approx 28 days for a package to arrive.. and it's rather cold up on this mountain. It cost 98 cents to post a letter with only words. I ask that if you do send a letter, to also include either a limerick or a dirty joke!

This is my address. You need to print both the Chinese and English! USPS won't take just the Chinese and apparently ONLY USPS delivers to my shanty town! If you don't know Chinese, highlight all and print and stick!

Christine Yuan 袁恢琪

中国云南省临沧市云县茂兰镇哨街村哨街学校 (675806），P.R. China

Christine Yuan

Shaojie School, Shaojie Village, Maolan Town,

Yunxian County, Lincang Prefecture,

Yunnan Province, (675806) P.R. China

Here are some other notes worth posting about posting. 

*on the USPS customs declaration form, under quantity and detailed description of contents, write – Gifts 礼物

*on the USPS customs declaration form, under Total Value, very important, keep it under - $100 (if it is over $100, the recipient – you have to pay a lot of taxes)

Just think.. Happy teacher, happy students? :) 

Children at play!

In America, when one thinks of children playing, you think of children playing with computer games, video games, or for the younger ones, perhaps some organized playdates or storytime.

In China, my school has students ranging from 4 to 18 and every day they have over 3 hours of free time, where they can play, do homework, wash their hair from a spigot that's located a foot off the ground, or eat food that costs less than $20 USD a month. I try to bring my camera every time I step into school, because you never know what sort of things you'll be able to capture!

Here, for example, are the empty bowls that some of the children used while standing and eating. Many of my students don't rush to eat when the bell rings at 11:20 because unlike staggered lunch times like I had as a child, all 1000 students are dismissed at the same time and they eat all the same place. The sitting area for children to eat fits at most 50. I haven't been around to witness the chaos. This is only a taste of the aftermath.

This next photo is what I assume to be two kids cuddling in public, PDA, a la Argentinian street style, but take a second glance! These kids are about... 5. Hilariously enough, they're both girls. Who doesn't like a hug/ long enveloping cuddle along a wall?

Other activities that children enjoy doing, which seem safe enough:

Ping pong on tile tables.

Jumping rope.

Patty cake.

so cute!

Watching while others play patty cake.

not. creepy?

Mouth to mouth resuscitation/ pressure points massage.

you tell me what this looks like!

Playing with wood/trash/dirt.

who can blame them? that trash looks like so much fun!

... and who can forget my favorite, hitting other students? (not pictured, I couldn't legitimately start a fight just for my pleasure, ahem, photo capturing...)

It's obvious that Chinese children have different past times than their American counterpart but both seem to have a lot of fun doing what they like!

PPTV

Confession: All I've done today other than teaching is lie around in my bed and watch trashy tv. Mainly, Rubicon, not the shallow river in Italia that Caesar crossed but, Rubicon, the newest television show on AMC and White Collar, a USA networkorgeous con man, turned FBI investigator. If you haven't watched these shows, you should look into it!... and recommend new shows to me as well!

*If you don't know what PPTV is, ask me. 

The Hills are beautiful!

There isn't very much to say about this photo. I just marvel at the sheer beauty of it. I live here now! This was taken on the bus ride from Yunxian (the closest small city) to Shaojie, which I most recently found out if 2000m (6561+ ft.) high and only has 3,000 people.

There was an approaching storm that mixed with the sunlight created a huge beaming rainbow that spanned the entire valley. It was breathtaking.

Fifth grade CRAZY

I met all 56 of my fifth graders on Thursday. They are veritably wild animals! I think the idea of me being American pretty much blew their minds... to the point that they were just staring at me... watching me do anything.

When I pulled out my netbook, they clapped in delight. When I pulled out my digital camera, they became hams!

Look at my kids hamming it up! I counted to three and all of them yelled and jumped up without me even telling them to do so! Hilarious! These kids are obviously just my style. 

Beggar Basics: How to make potato chips

Welcome to the second part of my series, Beggar Basics: making food in rural China with the barest of foods and tools.

Desperate for junk food, I decided to take making chips into my own hands. How hard could it be?

Slice and fry. Then, NOM NOM.

Success. Phoebe can attest how fresh and crisp they were. They looked and tasted like kettle chips. We have one potato left.... Salt and vinegar, garlic and chives, or just plain spicy chips? Oh the possibilities of slow cooking with beggar basics!

Pretty Poms

Good news! Poms are available where I live! Phoebe and I have eaten one two days in a row. They are sweet and time consuming to eat, which is good for Phoebe and I because we like to eat, stare and chat in our courtyard.

The pomegranates here are lighter colored though.. so I thought I would share. so pretty la!

It's market day in the 'ville!

Every six days, every store in the village opens and people peddle their wares. All the other days, the village is like a ghost town with everything shuttered! I don't see how this is an economically sound plan, but hey, when in China. This post is mostly pictures because markets are beautiful and colorful!

You'd think that maybe I would get used to market day now but today was in for a shock. Like many a market day, I walk down the hill and notice the hustle and bustle of the market. The mountains in the background always make me happy.

Knit shoes. Interesting. Never say never.

Our landlady runs the yarn stand. Maybe this winter I'll take up knitting? On the stand on the right, fruits.

On the floor to the left, peppers and squash! All home grown.

It was the stand on the left that was horrifying to behold. I already don't approve of the way Chinese people sell meat, aka, sold in the open on the side of the road, but a long glance had me doing a double take.

Uncurl your lip right now, that's totally a chopped off pig's face. RAWR :( The horror.

I'm sorry. 

AAAAAAAACK. Shortly thereafter, I ran back up the hill in horror. You have to admit, that face was definitely picture-worthy.

Beggar Basics: Mashed Potatoes

Welcome to the cooking series that Phoebe and I have started. Beggar Basics, slow cooking in the Chinese countryside!

We have very limited resources and a limited number of fresh foods. We're American... and let's not lie, we hate washing dishes. I would eat out every day if I could, but my body just can't handle it, must cook. We have a market (which you'll see later!) every 6 days and last week we bought 2 kilos of potatoes and let them sit there for 6 days.

Phoebe and I girded our loins and forced ourselves to a) wash a week of dishes, b) peel the potatoes, c) boil them and wait.

Oh, hai. I will eat you now.

Watching potatoes boil, almost as fun as watching water.

Forty minutes later, we popped the potatoes off the hot plate and let them cool while I started browning the garlic.

Before!

After! SO FRAGRANT NOM NOM NOM

Phoebe started the mashing of potatoes plus a little milk for texture.

With 3 pinches of salt, we put the garlic, oil, and the potatoes together. Add some chives for color and garnish..........

Now we're ready to plate!

TA DA!

The potatoes are light and garlicky with small chunks of potatoes inside! We still have a bowl left. If you want to hop over on a bus, you're totally welcome to do so. We love visitors. 

Chinese online dictionaries are awesome

What's a heffalump?

If you can read Chinese, you'd know now!

Congrats, Phoebe!

On the way back to our cabin, I pointed to a brown building where I suspected Phoebe would be teaching 6th graders twice a week. First we saw this popping under the staircase. Yes, that's an open flame, under the wooden staircase to a wooden building.

Then we took the narrow staircase up and Phoebe gasped.

It was pretty dark inside at 11:20 am. I must confess, I am slightly apprehensive as well. Congratulations, Phoebe. You're teaching in a firetrap. :(

Opening Ceremony: Shaojie

Ah, my first day as an educator. I woke up at 6, got excited for the day, watched Hulu, surfed on Facebook and read a boatload of NYT, all to emotionally prepare myself for teaching some 5th graders English in 8:50am. I'm up and ready to go - I've covered the board with notes and then I'm told that there's an opening ceremony, that everyone needs to grab their chair and go out unto the courtyard. NO CLASS.

A thousand kids arranged their seats according to age and the liaison for the teachers announced something that I didn't understand.

"Cover your ears," a girl said. Little did I know that the courtyard would be flooded with smoke and they were going to set off fireworks.



Take a look at what I'm talking about. Explosive little poppers, right up against the 50 year wooden building that should probably be condemned for living. Feel free to laugh at Phoebe's commentary.

Yay. Then, the National Anthem plays where everyone's hand is slightly raised above their heads...

This is a comfortable and not awkward position. I didn't know what to do, so I just took pics.
Two hours later...

I have no idea what people are saying, so I take a picture of my student's shoes. It kind of looks like it should say CONVENIENCE or INCONVENIENCE? ... but I now realize it just says NICE NICE NICE NICE over and over again.

The school calls up the smartest and cutest little babies for awards as the Principal and VP watches on. I take more pictures.

At 11:20, the kids are dismissed. First day of teaching, OVER.

Donate NOW!

After reading this article on fundraising and the New York Marathon in the NYT, I realized the same platform, Crowd Rise, might be used for raising money for my school in rural China.

This is a modified version of our blurb!

Shaojie School is located on the side of a mountain in SW China, in Yunnan Province. It's a school with a capacity of about 800, that now has more than 1100 students attending. Shaojie is a week day boarding school where students board five days a week and return home on the weekends. The school currently has 5 boys sleeping per every 2 beds. There are no showers so the students don't wash. There is no purified water, so the students drink the river water straight from the tap. The technology here is nonexistent.

Three of us teach here as part of the China Education Initiative. Our names are Christine, Phoebe, and Sophie. Two of us are from the States, Atlanta and Denver, respectively and the third is a Chinese fellow. We want to help in whatever manner possible, but in order to do so, we need any of the help that we can get.

Christine (that's me!) wants to focus on technologies. Nothing too splashy, but computers, printers, copiers, projectors, and routers would all help spread an expanded view of the world to the students that as teachers, we've been sent here to bring. Copy paper, colored pencils, scissors – any technology and resources that we could bring to the school will not only help our classrooms but they will continue to help the school long after we've left.

Phoebe wants access to water and to teach the local community about environmental preservation. We know it's ambitious but we want to bring water purification systems to ensure that our students are drinking clean water; hot showers so that the students can wash in the winter time. We want to hold local seminars so that we can teach the local community that littering is not an environmentally sustainable practice.

Sophie loves books and wants to bring a library to our school. Hardship is no stranger to all the residents of our village. Meals for a month cost less than $20 per student and many families are struggling to feed their children. Our students have professed to us that they want to read and learn but do not have any extra resources than the most basic.

The three of us are investing the next two years of our lives to improve the education inequity that exists in rural Chinese villages, specifically at our school, Shaojie School. We'd love if you would take the time to read our blog at shaojieschool.blogspot.com (coming really soon) and help us in any way possible!

Happy Donations!

This LINK! will direct you to our Crowd Rise webpage, but seriously any help is help! Take a look, donate money, contact me...  I'll be in touch.

*The attached picture is a picture of our boys' dormitory. The beds have uneven wooden bottoms, they're narrower than a regular twin and SERIOUSLY, 5 boys sleep on every 2 connected bed surfaces!

The (Dreaded) Bathroom

Our bathroom is located outside, right under our rooms. It's two slots in the ground that face the pigs and the roosters who roam free in their shared pen. Whenever I'm stooping and a breeze blows, I like to think - swine flu or avian flu? What about a power cocktail of both?

Sometimes the rooster rides on top of the pig and I laugh. This is a picture that Lucas took when he came over and had no intention of using the toilet. Sorry, I never bring my camera to the bathroom.

Home Sweet Home

Sometimes I see this when I wake up in the morning. As much as I like to complain, our locale is definitely the most gorgeous of all the placements.

54 kids!

I met my new students the other day! Look out for them here and on my other blog, which I've yet to start. Hello, my 54 7th grade students. (25 girls, 29 boys!) You don't have American names yet, but you're about to get some!  If you have any name suggestions, comment!

China Style

...is sick.

Welcome to school registration day. While I did sit in direct sunlight, it was the style of China that blinded me. Some were just too fashionable. I decided to pop out my camera and take some sneak photos to show you. 

Some of the parents were rocking some sick duds. Mixing prints to the max. Florescent blazer with florals? The innovation! Combinations I'd never thought possible!

Blouse on top, workout bottoms. Okay.

... and my favorite, the sleeve addenda. Do you have a t-shirt that you want to wear 15 days in a row but right now, it's kind of chilly outside? DONE. Just add sleeves manually and t-shirts are good all year 'round, ya'll!

Forget Manhattan and Milan, someone tell the Sartorialist to come to Shaojie!

Laura Zulliger

Laura Zulliger is a fellow sister of the South and has the accent to prove it. Originally from the SAV, she attended middle and high school in Seattle before going to Davidson. Girl can dance and shake that tailfeather like it's going out of style. Zulliger, Zoo for short, like many of those that I love, LOVES bubble tea and because of her uncanny ability to find it in any city that she's in, has proven to be a crucial asset in feeding my need for the tea. 

Zoo also loves setting up some awesome timer pics. This one turned out well. 

John Kuo

John Kuo loves America. John graduated in '09 from WUStl and owns the most feminine accessories that I've ever seen a man proudly flaunt (mint green flowery Gaiam water bottle, purple and silver powdery umbrella/sunbrella, hot pink futon). There may be no relation between the two things that I just stated, but I can't say, I've only known him for less than 2 months. John Kuo's signature face is his stank face. A native of Chicago, John Kuo enjoys stress eating and making kids cry. 

Lucas Myerson

Lucas Myerson is a blonde beautiful bear of a man who hails from Baltimore and graduated from Colgate in '10. A lover of J. Crew and girls who wear Anthropologie, Lucas has come to understand that too many pieces from Anthro will create a messy ensemble. Within the first week of meeting Lucas, he busted out his knowledge of the Single Ladies dance, his love for Texas Hold 'em and a real live mustache, which I gladly darkened with my mascara. Needless to say, I've found love in Lucas. 

Lucas appreciates my love for Hello Kitty.

Tom Hoffecker

Tom Hoffecker smells soo good. A graduate of the University of Virginia in 2009, Tom is a true gentleman who isn't sorry for having fun. It's hard to explain why I love Tom Hoffecker. Maybe it's his love for Diet Coke? It could be the fact that his Southern accent makes me shiver in horror, disgust and delight all at the same time. Tom has the same birthday as Britney Spears, who, if you've read Schott's Almanac 2007, is mesmerized by tigers. Rawr. Tom can also rock a mean mustache and tells only the classiest of jokes. Tom may look familiar to you because he has been featured in other places on this blog. We hang out sometimes. 

As for the picture... hungry? 

Phoebe Jiang

Phoebe Jiang has gladly agreed to be my American postmate on the side of this mountain in Shaojie. A graduate of Colorado College in 2009, Phoebe has spent a year in the workforce before joining me in le China. With an impeccable taste in clothes, Phoebe has style (girl used to work at J.Crew. Amazing). When Phoebe walks past Chinese people, they stare. Apparently she closely resembles a Chinese movie star; I tell her it's because she smells. Phoebe has already been warned of my love of nude underwear and bed snuggling. I think she may have already gotten used to my dirty jokes. I love Phoebe more and more every day and I look forward to living with her these next two years!

If Phoebe and I had a child, he would look like this.

Bandwidth Bane

Given my current lack of bandwidth, I haven't been able to log into Dashboard to edit my blog manually for a long time. I am about to start a short series of introductions of the fellows that I love. There will be more, this is just the first taste. 

First up! FEEBS.

SEMPER UBI SUB UBI

Didn't your mother always tell you to wear clean underwear? What about if you're living in rural China and you're about to be late to a meeting and you don't like washing your clothes and ruining perfectly good articles of clothing with the Chinese bootleg washer, so instead of wearing underwear, you put on a black dress and comfort yourself in knowing that meeting you're going to will last at most 45 mins?

Too many what ifs? What if I didn't wear underwear at my meeting and didn't think I would have to pay the price for it, but then we sat in the front row where I spent 45 mins clenching my legs tightly before Phoebe accepted an invitation to dinner.

At first I was horrified and I bluntly told Phoebe, I really don't know what to go - which was a little too blunt, and in a way probably pissed her off... so I had to tell her the naked truth. That I wasn't wearing underwear and I didn't feel like going to a restaurant where we would be eating veggies from a pail and sitting on low stools. Maybe that's just me? AHHH, Phoebe couldn't believe it and I was sad to admit it. 

Laugh if you want. It's horrifying.

So we ... 8 new girl teachers, pile into this little car, only to find that the battery has died.. so Phoebe, Sophie, and I are all sitting in the car, musing as to how the teachers are going to transfer us to the restaurant, which is a highway pitstop right outside of our town. By moto, we wondered? They would have to provide us with helmets, as that's the CEI rule, and I would have to sit.. side saddle? WTF. You'd better believe that I was horrified.

The principal piles us into a smaller car where Phoebe now has to sit in my lap and we ride bumpily out of down. Phoebe is hitting her head on the roof of the car with every bump that we take and I'm wrapped around her like white on rice trying to act as her human safety belt. THEN the car stops. It's stuck on one of the rock piles and we've got to get out and walk ourselves out. Was this trail on the side of mountain? Yes. Was it very dark outside? Yes. Was the weather quite pleasant though? Also, yes. So we made the best out of Phoebe's phone backlight and began our plight up the rocky road. 

The car wrested itself free and we all got in like the circus clown car and proceeded to stuff our faces with uber basic veg stew and white rice. 

On the car ride back, I professed to Phoebe that I was sweet on her and mightn't we go on an intimate car ride of 10?

The moral of THIS story is that... country living is unpredictable and you should hedge your bets by semper ubi sub ubi.